Saturday, March 22, 2014

Finding Strength

Facing my own mortality has always been  a difficult subject for  me to handle. My take on life is that I just want to live forever. I want to be a part of everything and every one's life and I really just don't want to miss out on anything. A new home, a kitchen I can  enjoying cooking in for my family and friends, watch Paige grow and become the women  she wants to be and just  spend my years with the man that I love. Am I really asking for much?  However the harsh reality is that one day we will all die. When and how, only God knows. No one is  immortal.

I  am faced  right now with two very important people in my life who are facing  death through the illness they have. One is a very special cousin and another is a recent friend who I have learnt alot from  in the  past few years. A women who I admire and  has  helped me in her own way to better understand  and accept what happened to Kelly-Anne. Her illness, hit me like a bolt of lightening. Totally unexpected. She is strong and her words to me still today bring a sense of  peace. It is all in her attitude. She is living each day to the fullest with the man that she  loves.

My cousin, so much  younger than I  knows she only has  a couple of years left on this earth. She is busy planning her funeral and after a few discussions with her, she seems to have covered  every little detail. As I listened to her speak, I said  to her that  it feels  like you are planning a party. She sounded so at ease, and ready to face  that day. Her  biggest  priority is to protect  the ones that she loves  the most, her immediate family and her boyfriend of the pain and the planning.

I  do not know how I would deal with  this situation if it was  me who  was faced with  knowing that I  was at death's door. But, I do continue to tell myself that we  will all die at some point in time. I am no different than anyone else. My only issue is  that I  will accept my fate differently that my friend or cousin. Just the thought of leaving Jules,Kim and Paige behind is so painful only because  I love  them so very much. Through my friend and cousin, they have both given me a gift of strength and courage to come to terms with my own mortality.

The circle of life continues and  I know that everyday and every moment are so  important.  It really isn't  about the house or the kitchen  or how much money one has. It is really all about family and friends and being surrounded with the  people  that love you and that you love. When the day comes, I  know I will  be reunited with Kelly-Anne and all my other family members who have  gone ahead. Ah another party !

1 comment:

Ingrid Berzins said...

By living in the moment....in the kitchen cooking, wiping Paige's chin, actively loving your family...you are alive and that is all any of us can ask for. This moment in time is all we ever get and our destiny is already written...we tend to forget that as we take our days for granted....