My Daughter, Kelly-Anne

A Rope in a Cell........

2012-02-04T21:10:00.003-05:00

Senator Pierre- Hugues Boisvenu came under fire this week when he made comments that murders should have ropes in their cells to hang themselves. Well,I can understand where he is coming from and honestly,I agree. He did retract the comments saying that he meant it was for murders who could not be rehabilitated. I do not think that there was any need for him to retract. However, he being a senator made the retraction all the more necessary. Today we read that someone in Quebec is asking that Boisvenu apologize as this man had tried to commit suicide and fears that words like this would encourage people who are depressed to try to commit suicide. What this man fails to understand is that these comments were pointed at murderers and not those who suffer from depression.

Let's face it. In Canada, a criminal is treated with kid gloves. They are able to get an education in prison, work and earn a little money, no smoking restrictions, eat three meals a day, have visitors and even have trailers visits where their mothers can bring the reminders of home with a good home cooked meal. They also get great medical care,free eyeglasses and dental care. And their rights are protected! All on our Canadian tax dollar.

Quelle belle vie! And before you know it,they are out on the streets again. Boy does time fly. Who really is living out a life sentence here? Not them, but people like I and Boisvenu and many others...the secondary victims to homicide.

If we had the death penalty,families like mine would not have to be concerned about the criminal being on the street again and hurting someone else. We could use our tax dollars toward what honest law abiding citizens need like better health care and resources for our aging population.

Stephen Harper is now talking about raising the Old Age Pensions to age 67.That would mean people would have to work until then to collect their federal pension. Federal money is in the wrong place and now the honest citizen may have to sacrifice two more years,but it is okay to spend the money on the criminals.

Encore, quelle belle vie!

Shafia Family : Guilty

2012-01-29T20:11:00.002-05:00

Finally after a long trial, the Sharfia family members are found guilty of 1st degree murder with no eligibility for parole until 25 years. Four women dead because of a man who could not bear to have his family dishonored by his daughters wanting to live the North American lifestyle. It is just a horrible story. The father, his second wife and their son plotting to murder the rest of the family and the husband's first wife.

Reflecting on today's verdict, I am pondering the idea that maybe the mother should of received a second degree verdict rather than a first degree. This is my reasoning...The wife, in my view was controlled and abused by her husband. Abused women live within four black walls. They know that what is happening in their present situation is not correct but are locked into it by FEAR. I would not of been surprised if the wife had she not complied with her husband and son, she too would have been murdered. She lied through her teeth which didn't help her cause. I don't feel sorry for her, but understanding how abused women are,lets me believe that she thought she had no choice but to participate in this heinous crime.

Violence against women, honor killings, it is still about men controlling women. The son was not even 20 years old when he participated in this crime. He, at such a young age was already brain washed by his father. Did he feel that it was his responsibility as a man to honor his father by doing away with his sisters?

Will there be a request to appeal the case? The defence has 30 days to come up with a good enough reason to prove that the judge erred. I hardly think that will happen.

I hope the sisters and the first wife are at peace. They will never be forgotten as this verdict will send a strong message to many cultural communities that we will not tolerate honor killings, violence against women, and family violence in Canada nor should it be tolerated in any other country.

Traditions Old and New

2011-12-19T20:59:00.002-05:00

It is hard for me to believe that Christmas is shortly upon is. Where did the year go to! We decorated the house in all its splendor over a week ago. It was another bittersweet day as we placed the precious ornaments which Kelly-Anne had made some years ago on the tree. Along with them were the newer ones which Kim,Jules and I had made a couple of years back.

That day I reflected on Christmases past as I looked at decorations that were given to me by people who were close to me and have passed on. I cherish the ornament from my friend Heather. She was my mentor and helped me alot in my career. I think of her often, but each Christmas as I look at her special ornament which she gave me on her last Christmas with us, it just fills my heart with happiness, sadness and appreciation. I often thank her for helping me be the person I am today.

Christmas this year will be different. Kim is in her new home out west with the love of her life. She will have a taste of home as the baking has all been shipped out by FedEx. We spoke last week and I said to her that now was the time for her to start her own traditions. Funny how I received a text today from Kim telling me that she can't find ground veal in the grocery stores. She was wondering how she would make my tourtière recipe without it. I did laugh as we were at the FedEx desk sending off the baking when the text came. I said to Jules that it was too late to send out ground veal! We had a good laugh about that. It did warm my heart that she would make our Quebecois traditional meat pie with her great pie crust and show the Westerners just what they have been missing.

Christmas this year for us will be filled with hope,joy and peace. We will enjoy our family,the four footed guys and friends over the holidays and continue the traditons which we have created together. As always, there will be a candle lit on the table for Kelly-Anne.

Jules and I look forward with excitement to the new year ahead. Good things will be happening for us in our careers and personal life. We look forward to traveling to visit Kim and to meet all the people who have become her second family.

From our home to yours, we wish you health,happiness and peace that will last throughout the year to come. Enjoy your families and your traditions and let the fond memories of Christmases past warm your hearts as those of ours will.

Happy Birthday Kell

2011-11-28T17:58:00.002-05:00

This picture was taken on November 28th 2003. It was Kell's 24th birthday and the last one that we were able to celebrate with her. Shelooks so happy and beautiful in this picture.

Living the Dream

2011-11-27T07:27:00.003-05:00

I felt last night that I have come full circle since the devastating lost of Kelly-Anne seven years ago.Each year the cocktail fundraiser is bittersweet but somehow last evening it was different.I was thrilled that the master of ceremonies chosen was a former swimming teacher of Kelly-Anne. In more recent years he participated with her in competitive living guarding and became a close friend.

What touched me the most was that a couple of lifeguards spoke how the fund was helping them. These young women never knew Kelly-Anne, but today they are able to live Kelly-Anne dream of travel,training and competition. Bravo! Seven years ago, I intended to make a difference in other people's lives. Now Kelly-Anne's foundation is doing just that.

With close to $12,000 raised last evening,the fund will help competitors reach their goals. I must thank Aquam and McDonald's Canada for their generous support. Also thank you to my family and friends and the many others who I do not know personally who continue to support the foundation.

It was also reaffirmed to me last night that the memory of Kelly-Anne and how she touched her colleagues in the sport will never fade. I also realize even more so than before that reaching goals does take time, but the importance is that we never give up. Kelly-Anne's example of perseverance,implication and dedication are the key factors which I hold to.

I feel that I have moved mountains with my "making a difference project" within my career and with Kelly-Anne's fund. My life just doesn't stop here. It's now about continuing and growing all in those baby steps. I look forward in anticipation of my future and what lies ahead for my family. Kelly-Anne's foundation is touching many young adults within the competitive life guarding milieu. They can live their dreams and that excites me. It also excites me that many more lives can be saved by the continued training and dedication of our lifeguards. Our waters will be safer.

I toast my precious daughter, Kelly-Anne on the eve of her 32nd birthday. I love you and I thank you for continuing to inspire me from afar.

Another Struggle

2011-11-12T21:56:00.003-05:00

Yesterday,the harsh reality of my cousin's medical condition hit me straight in the face. I am emotionally exhausted from crying and thinking of her. She is still alive but her condition worsens.I am angry that again 7 years later I feel the same way today as when Kelly-Anne was fatally attacked. There is no medical solution to stop her disease. I am frustrated that in 2011 with the money invested into research,the training of medical professionals and the multi- million dollars of pharmaceuticals available,there is very little that can be offered to my 39 year old cousin.

She has agreed to an experimental operation to see if this may help her. I fully support her going forward with this operation and I believe that she will get through it. I also believe that Kelly-Anne will help guide her doctor. Ironically or not, my cousin's doctor was Kelly-Anne's doctor. She could not save Kelly-Anne's life, but I know is is going to help my cousin.

My cousin's deep faith in God has brought her to a better place. This is what she had to say to me yesterday in an email.

" After everything you've been through, I know how upsetting and horrific this is to hear and I am so very very sorry. I wish with all my heart that I had something better for you. I hate the fact that you are upset. All I can say is that you must know that I believe with all my heart in God and that I know he will not forsake me. No matter WHAT happens, He will always be holding my hand and He is the all powerful to ensure that I don't suffer.

Please know that God will take care of this: in His own way and according to His will and that I am completely trusting of Him. He has NEVER let me down and He never will.

I've always told you that I know it for a fact that one day we will all be together again, with no more tears, suffering or death. So no matter what happens in this life, it is a test. We must prove our faith in God and Christ and we will be rewarded for doing so with eternal life, peace, and love with one another for always, if we follow the example Christ set out for us.

I assure you that this life is just a passing thing,full of trials and tribulations: but that one day we shall all reap what we sowed. I know it's going to be okay - one way or another.

Please don't be sad. I love you too much to think that you are sad, although it's obviously normal to feel that way, but please know that I am not alone and that I am not scared.

Please don't be scared either. And I promise to give you my surgery date and we'll talk before then.

I love you "

I cannot get over her faith, conviction and trust in the Lord. I am so proud of her and how she is dealing with all of this. I ask each and everyone of you irregardless of your beliefs that you pray for my cousin and her family.

It's hard for me as most of my adult years I have always been faced to find solutions to problems and different issues whether in my personal life or work life. I have convinced myself that there is a solution for everything. It's when medical situations like that of Kelly-Anne and now my cousin's battle do not allow for concrete solutions,I have a hard time dealing with all.

My own faith is now being tested again. I never blamed God for Kelly-Anne's passing and I do not blame Him for my cousin's illness. I do however question what is it that we all have to learn from this present situation? What message will our family and all her friends receive? For me,I am reminded that I have to continue to trust God more and not be afraid.

My baby cousin who I love has now reminded me as God is working through her to convey His message of putting our trust in Him.

And now, I pass the same message to you.

Kelly-Anne Drummond Cocktail Fundraiser, 7th Edition

2011-10-31T21:05:00.002-04:00

The Societé de Sauvetage du Québec and the Family of

Kelly-Anne Drummond

cordially invite you to attend the Cocktail Fundraiser

in memory of

Kelly-Anne

On

Saturday, November 26th 2011

At

6:00 p.m.

The Dollard des Ormeaux Aquatic Centre

12001, De La Salaberry

Dollard des Ormeaux, Quebec

Donation: $50.00 per person

Come and enjoy this annual event as we remember Kelly-Anne. We celebrate her love of life, her accomplishments as a competitive lifeguard and her example of sportsmanship,as she has continued to inspire our lifeguards.

“ Competitive life guarding is the only sport that saves lives.”

To reserve your tickets, please call 514-252-3100

The Rick Hansen 25th Anniversary Relay

2011-10-22T19:13:00.003-04:00

It was such a bittersweet day. I was proud to be a part of the relay honoring Rick Hansen and his outstanding dedication to helping those who live with spinal cord injuries. He has raised awareness, while also raising millions of dollars for spinal cord research across the globe. The relay across Canada encompasses 7,000 Canadians who are making a difference, therefore I was honored to be apart of this selected group. Rick inspires me to continue to forge forward.It is possible for all of us,if we believe and work towards our goals.

I walked today in memory of Kelly-Anne as she too sustained a fatal spinal cord injury when she was attacked by her killer. I pray that through Rick's work, one day a cure will be found for spinal cord injuries such as Kelly-Anne's and for the many other types of SCI that do occur due to accidents,injuries and trauma.

I met incredible people today from Rick's team...and that's what they are... team players and other Quebecers who are also making a difference in their daily lives.

I thought about Kell and how she would of loved to have participated in this event. When the official metal was placed over my neck, I felt that Kell was with me and that that she was basking in those moments with me. Strange as life sometimes is, I passed the metal to a girl who now goes to Kell's old high school and trains at syncro at the DDO pool. Here mother told me that she always wondered who Kelly-Anne was as she noticed the conference room in her honor at the pool.

The above photo shows my hat and a replica keepsake of the metal which I received today.I have placed the metal near Kelly-Anne's photo as it is a tribute to her.

Today's event allowed me again to keep Kelly-Anne's memory alive!

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-10-09T04:16:00.002-04:00

With the fragrant smell of apple pies baking this evening, Thanksgiving Weekend seems to be in full swing. However, I did remark to Jules that it seems more like Labour day weekend as he returned to don his shorts and flip flops.

We took our yearly drive to St-Joseph de Lac this morning. This quaint town is nested in beautiful scenery of little rolling hills and many apple orchards.We ate breakfast in a resto on the main drag then went off to pick up apples and other apple delicacies. Jules and I reminisced about the time Kelly-Anne made the trip with us. We remembered that both girls did join us on separate occasions for apple picking. I also thought back when the girls were in primary school and the many apple picking trips that they participated in. Anyone who has been apple picking will remember those long red ladders where the students easily climbed to reach the perfect red apple.

I had a nice surprise visit from Rachel today. Please remember to visit her blog at www.kadrummond.blogspot.com ( Remembering a Friend )

Even in Kelly-Anne's death, Rachel continues to be a faithful friend to her. Each time that I have seen Rachel in the past seven years she has continued to be strong and has forged forward in her life which includes a husband, travel and an amazing career. She, like Kim, remind me of what Kelly-Anne's life should of been like.

Today I also reflected on what I am thankful for. The list seems abundant and endless. Topping the list is being thankful for my health, Kim, Jules, the cats, my family,friends and that I was blessed with Kelly-Anne for 24 years on this earth. I continue to be blessed by her spirit, her love and guidance from above.

I wish each and everyone of you a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving and that you will share this occassion with the ones you love.

What Have We learnt from Kelly-Anne

2011-10-05T16:03:00.002-04:00

As I was lying in bed last night, I started to think about how Kelly-Anne has changed the people around her and those who may have never met her. No one can change another person, but I feel that Kelly-Anne with her legacy is helping people to make the changes that they need to do for themselves.

I sat quietly in my office and reflected about her especially today being the anniversary of her passing.

I though about who she was as a person and the obstacles she faced to be a better student, to excel at sports and to be compassionate to others. Kelly-Anne taught me to persevere. That lesson I use everyday whether it is in the workplace,or with the challenges I face having her not by my side. Kelly-Anne also taught me to be positive about everything in my life and to take things one day at a time. She also taught me that I am capable of learning and to keep my mind open to opportunities and experiences I may of thought never possible.

I believe that Kelly-Anne is watching over us and that the people most closest to her in life, and to some who were her voice in court. I believe she has not forgotten anyone. She has taught us to BELIEVE in ourselves and everything that is possible if we really want it. I have learnt where my priorities are placed. Family and friends are first on the list. I don't sweat the small stuff as there are always more important things to deal with. Friends that are solely absorbed in themselves, I have no time for as the world just doesn't revolve around one person. I am fortunate to have true friends around me who I can share my life and theirs equally.

Strange things have happened over the last seven years. I have found myself at times saying to out loud 'hey, thanks Kell' or asking Kell to help me out on something that was stressing me, and she would. Kell even knows where we live. Soon after we moved into our new home, I was standing in the kitchen looking towards the living room. Sylvester was sitting on a chair and we both saw at the same time a "swoosh" going from the sofa to the door. I know it wasn't just me as Sylvester watched the motion to. (Cats have a good sense of these things I believe.)

Kelly-Anne taught me to laugh at ourselves....hey I do that all the time! So today in my daughter's memory I would ask you to smile at yourself for being who are and if Kelly-Anne has graced your world and helped you to make changes well "encore mieux" ( even better)!

Laugh, Love, Learn, Preserve and Smile!

Another New Beginning

2011-10-01T12:36:00.000-04:00

October 3rd 2011 will soon be here. It’s hard to believe that we have lived our lives the past seven years without Kelly-Anne. Yes, she is here in spirit, but I wish I could hug her and take my fingers and twirl them through her many curly locks on her head.

Monday is a new beginning. I will start to work in a happy place, a place of new life and new beginnings for pregnant women. I will meet young women, Kelly-Anne’s age having babies. The smiles, the anticipation coupled with the excitement of soon to meet their new little one. Mothers with their daughters, their first grandchild, oh I just envy them. Gosh, the smiles, they are all so very happy and that makes me happy.

Today I think of what would of been, what would Kell look like, would she of kept her hair long and curly, would she of had a baby of her own, how many other trips would she of taken. Seven years lost, seven years of our pain, tears, frustrations and adjustments.

I know that Jules and I have changed. Actually anyone who was close to Kelly-Anne or touched by her tragic passing has changed. It’s impossible not to of have.

Life has evolved on our merry go round. Some of it has passed me by so quickly, I can hardly remember certain aspects of my past. But what I am reminded of is my pain, my lost and that forgiveness is still not an option.

Many may think that I should forgive and that I will be healed within myself. I do not agree. I will heal my way in my time. My closest friend remarked recently that she felt I had made great strides, as I am able now to accept and love another man that has come into our lives. Just I being able to do so tells me that I am not bitter against other young men, that I am able to allow myself to love.

Kelly-Anne has helped me with all that. Marty was a bad apple and it doesn’t mean that all men are like that. She has helped me to open my heart again.

If anyone has to forgive Marty, it will be Kelly-Anne. Will that happen? Your answer is the same as mine. We will never know until we die.

My life without Kelly-Anne beside me has not been easy. I continue to ask myself often, what would Kell have done in certain situations that I face daily.

Even after seven years, the community has not forgotten Kelly-Anne. Just last evening Concordia Ladies Rugby hosted the annual match with McGill. Concordia continues to retain the Kelly-Anne Cup for its third consecutive year. Kelly-Anne’s friends were there to support the cause as were many who never met Kelly-Anne. Women Aware will receive the proceeds of the game. All for a good cause!

The community remembers Kelly-Anne’s life and also how she died. People still want to hear her story, as I as her mother have been fortunate to have opportunities to continue to speak about Kelly-Anne. She accomplished so much in 24 years and her legacy continues. We must never forget how she died and that story will help change and educate the lives of many others.

Even though working on projects is emotionally draining for myself, it also affects the people working with me. I have begun the first phase of a film that I know teenagers will find compelling. It’s all good even if it brings me back to 2004. If this is what it takes to save lives and build awareness, then Kelly-Anne death is not in vain. And for that I continue to be her voice.

Dear Kelly-Anne, you are forever close to our hearts and will never be forgotten.

Olson Dying of Cancer

2011-09-22T14:52:00.002-04:00

How interesting is it that it has been made public by the Commissioner of Correctional Services that mast murderer Clifford Olsen is dying of cancer in a Laval hospital. I find this a double standard since Correctional Services stipulates that the medical condition of federal inmates is a confidential matter. As you are all aware,I have been complaining about the fact that Kelly-Anne's killer has be hospitalized and has had recently numerous escorted medical appointments.

I am told it is all confidential so my question today to a Correctional Service victim's representative is why is it public knowledge about Olson, but not about Cousineau. The representative cannot give me an answer, but she understands exactly where I am coming from.

It is because the Commissioner being who is feels he can over ride policy? It is because Olson murdered multiple people? Who is going to give me an answer ?

Next step: waiting by the phone for a return call from Ottawa and the media.

A death is a death,a murderer is a murderer....it's all the same to me.

Thank You All Around the World

2011-09-19T20:19:00.002-04:00

I am overwhelmed with my following. I am able to view the many countries from where citizens read my blog.

Please say hello and give me your comments! I would love to hear from you....There are many who are visiting the blog each day especially from California, South Korea, Japan, Brazil, Russia and even Newfoundland where Kelly-Anne was conceived!

The justice systems varies in all the countries. I would love to hear more about how domestic violence cases are handled in your country. Do you have any first hand experience? Do you work with assoications helping women?

I know that Correctional Services of Canada has taken the time to read my blog. We all have something to learn from each other.

I believe in an open forum. My goal is to widen the knowledge, the truth about the on going issues that I face living without my daughter, Kelly-Anne. You have heard about my fustrations, my challenges and about the people I love and the life I look forward in having. You have heard about my good days and my not so good days and you know that it pains me to see that women and children are still being abused, kidnapped and murdered.

I am a Libra. That is enough in itself to tell you that I believe in fairness and justice. I believe that sharing my stores about my life without Kelly-Anne and the issues that I face tells you that I am an open book and that sharing with you will bring an awareness about the violences against women, our justice system and the many needs of others.

If Kelly-Anne's story has changed your life in a positive way or if you are a mom like me who has suffered a loss, please know that you are not alone.

I do hope to hear from you.

Prisoners vs Seniors

2011-09-19T18:37:00.006-04:00

The ongoing saga continues for Kelly-Anne's murderer. In my recent posting I spoke about his temporary absences,whereas he was admitted to a hospital for nineteen YES nineteen days. I am still trying to figure out what type of illness keeps one in the hospital for such a length of time. The best is that since being returned to prison, he has had two escorted doctor's visits and another one coming up this week. What service!

Now let's remember that we here in Quebec have a shortage of doctors along with an overcrowding problem in our ER departments. Seniors are left in corners of the hospital and for those who have a family member by their bedside, they are the fortunate ones.

Those needing specialized testing can go to private clinics and pay for the services. Let's see now, MRI's $700.00, colonoscopies $495.00, ultrasounds $170.00. Blood work anywhere from $ 150.00 up...Shall I continue.....

Now how can we assure that our seniors and loved ones get the same services as prisoners do. I thnk that we should start sending our seniors to prison. Sounds ridicilous, but my fustration with our tax dollars being spent on the low lifes of our society is really bothering me.

To think that a prisoner being kept for nineteen days in a private hosptial room, guarded 24/24, fed, medicated and treated by doctors, nurses and orderies must cost a bundle.

Oh, the care of our Canadian inmate......priceless. For our seniors who worked all these years and paid their taxes.......disgraceful.

Thank You Jack

2011-08-27T19:20:00.002-04:00

" my friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic."

That you Jack Layton for these words. You do not know how much they mean to me personally.

As I have read these words of wisdom over and over the past few days, I realize that the meaning is far more than just a political statement. I see these words so appropriately said to those who are in abusive relationships. How many times has the anger of someone led them to commit a crime such as murder? Knifing your partner is not love. In my darkest hours I was told to have hope and not be afraid. I have transmitted that same message to many women young and old that we cannot live in fear if one is a victim of domestic abuse. For those who live in despair of not knowing how to leave an abusive relationship it is very hard to be optimistic, but we must.

We all need to be loving, hopeful and optimistic no matter what our situation is. Thank you Jack for giving me the courage to continue my life with out my daughter Kelly-Anne beside me.

As a new adventure is shortly upon me, I will face it with hope that my message to others will be transparent and life changing for many who need to hear it. I can only be optimistic.

Rest in Peace Jack.

Protecting the Inmates

2011-08-01T14:45:00.003-04:00

This morning at 10:51 a.m. I received a telephone call from Correctional Services of Canada advising me that Martin Morin -Cousineau was going out on an escorted visit to the doctor in the area of his prison. It has been over a year that I have received calls of this matter, so was a bit surprised to answer the phone to one today. I usually ask the same questions, how many escorts, is he being handcuffed and shackled. I do get my response, whether true or not, I am not able to determine that.

Here we are Monday morning and the visit is today. I found that strange as usually I receive the call a day or two in advance advising me of the outing. I thought afterwards if Correctional Services purposely called late to advise me knowing full well that I could not get to the destination to follow him if I was so inclined to do so. Were they thinking that I would be so stupid to bring harm to their inmate?

Really, the staff had to be planned last week and the doctor's visit arranged prior to today. I tried as I usually do to ask what is wrong with him that justifies taking him out of the prison to see a doctor. Of course the answer of the day is we do not have that information.

All this being said, it comes back again to me that the victims has less rights than the inmates. No stresss, no bills, no mouths to feed, big daddy's taking care of me!

Words of Wisdom

2011-07-25T16:26:00.004-04:00

I was invited recently to go swimming with a dear friend. She took me to a 50 metre pool which I really enjoyed. It was the first time that I did laps in such a large pool. Needless to say after one hour of laps I was tired, but happy. Afterwards we went to visit her father and brother. Her dad which I will call Mr. G is 90 years young. He is spry,intelligent and offered me great words of wisdom. We talked about different things and of course we spoke of Kelly-Anne and his grandson who was a great friend of Kelly-Anne. Mr. G said to me that when we face difficult situations we have to ask ourselves the question " Where do we go from here?"

Sitting with him for a half hour allowed me to be inspired,to reflect and to listen to his advice.I truly believe that people who live into their 90's and 100's are here for a reason. I believe that they are still needed on this earth to finish a job which is to teach others about life.

Each family has its' own struggles where life can bring a few big bumps in the road. No one ever told us that life would be perfect. For Mr. G he has suffered the loss of his wife and son in law and countless other relatives, but he still forges forward. He has a son who lives with him that lost both legs to cancer (and is an inspiration in his own right), he takes care of his home, he volunteers in his community and he offers wise advice to many.

With his positive outlook and his kind and compassionate character, he sat across from me and listened as I spoke. Without any interruption, he gently continued to encourage me to forge forward.

Where do we go from here...words that are now embedded in me forever, words to live by.

The Prairie Girl

2011-07-12T10:46:00.007-04:00

It was June 27, 2011. I was cooking up a storm. It was going to be the last supper as a family for a while. I wanted everything to be perfect. I cooked her favorite things. Seafood chowder, BBQ ribs, beet and cucumber salad,lamb kabobs and frozen yogurt in waffles cups surrounded with fresh raspberries. So much preparation for a meal that we would nosh on in a matter of an hour or so. She sat across the table from me. I looked at her and saw that something was changing. I didn't quite know then what it was, but change was about to happen. A new page of the book was to turn shortly. For me and for her. For me, today I can say it is about adjusting, for her was the new adventure that lay ahead. An adventure which has brought her new friends, new surroundings and love.

I asked Kelly-Anne to watch over her and to God to protect, guide and give her the wisdom to make the right decisions. I asked for myself the strength to accept change and that the future would be left in God's hands. Let go Doreen, you have no control,I reminded myself.

Once she arrived at her new destination she attended a wedding of one of her cousins. Needless to say, she looking beautiful for the occasion and met a young man. Love at first sight, well I would say yes. For the blissful couple they are taking is slowly while getting to know each other. Here we are three weeks later and she has met his parents,is attending his brother's wedding and are planning a camping trip together somewhere in the mountains. Maybe the prairie people do things a little differently than we Quebecers.

I am trying to breathe.So much has happened in the span of a couple of weeks. I said to my friends, she is not coming back, I just know it. She's off to start a new life, maybe it is time she no longer is looked upon as the" dead girl's sister". She needs her own identity. And I was right. The text message came saying that she would be home to introduce us to her new beau and pick up her winter things. My friends looked at me said that I hit the nail on the head with that one.

I teased her saying the the cats are going to give him the once over. I'll try to train them not to hiss,barf or stratch him. I also said that he would be meeting the Fockers. Jules re inactd the "I'm watching you" images of Robert DeNiro.

I am happy even thought she is moving for good. Actually I am excited for her. She will be surrounded with her cousins and her boyfriend and his wonderful family. New opportunities await her. For me, there is email, texting, skpe and airplanes.

I await with anticipation for her visit. She wants to learn how to cook some Lebanese dishes, he wants homemade bread. She wants to cook the stuffed vine leaves for his mother. When I read that from her text, I though back when I went to meet Jule's foster mother in Ontario. She too asked me to make her the stuffed grape leaves which I gladly did in her kitchen.

This week, she emailed and said that they had arrived at their destination for his brother's wedding. She was in awe of the beauty of the mountains and the glaciers. I teared up as I was so happy that she was experiencing the beauty of nature.

Kim's adventure continues........now that is what life is all about!

Kangaroo House

2011-07-08T08:44:00.011-04:00

There was an interesting article in this past Thursday's Montreal Gazette about a safe house project being put in place here in Montreal. This home would be available to children of families in distress. I am mentioning this as a follow up to the continuing coverage of the Turcotte trial.

Sadly for many, Guy Turcotte was found not guilty of taking the lives of his two children. I did mention in my last entry that there has to be some sort of system available to families and children who are going through stressful times.

There is still not a location but people are working on the plan.Presently the organization is looking for non-profit status from the government. It will take six months before the project is in place with a team of care workers.

If you or anyone you know is going through a separation or divorce where children are involved, sending the children to temporary accommodations from parents who are in crisis is not a bad idea. It is not the solution but if it means that the children are protected while the parents get their own needed help, this house can hopefully protect children from the same fate as the Turcotte children.

The coordinates for The Kangaroo House are 514-524-4141 or visit thekangaroohouse.org

Another resource for parents is the Ligne Parents hotline at 1-800-361-5085

We all have to work together to prevent such sad and tragic events happening.Please pass on this information to anyone who might need it. Also supporting the project is something we can all do by contacting the organization to see what they might need in the way of furniture or financial contributions. Every little bit can help.

As for other parts of the North America and abroad, please contact you offices of social services in your area to see if such programs exist.

I do know that my blog reaches many countries. Thank you to all for taking the time to read My Daughter, Kelly-Anne.

In The Case of Guy Turcotte

2011-07-01T16:46:00.015-04:00

Today is Canada's birthday and for many Canadians they are celebrating the presence of Will and Kate. For me, my mind is elsewhere. It has been a few days now that the jury has be sequestered to make their decision regarding the fate of Guy Turcotte the former cardiologist who took the lives of his two very young children back in 2009. I have followed parts of the trail via the media reports, but I must tell you I have also had to remove myself from some of the harsh descriptions of the actual murder. It is just to painful to listen to how the children were murdered from multiple stabs wounds.

We are told that Turcotte was depressed because his wife was leaving him. Reports tell us that he tried to commit suicide and drank antifreeze and then he viciously killed his children. His defense has tried to show that the murders were committed by mental illness and that he was a loving father.

My take on all this clear and simple. He may of been depressed about his breakup with his wife and he may of wanted to commit suicide. Being a doctor, he should of known better that drinking antifreeze would not be the best solution to end his life. He is a coward. If he really wanted to commit suicide that would of been his choice but for goodness sakes he could of left the children alone. I blame him alone for the crime, but I am bother by the fact that the children were left in his care. His ex wife was skiing for the weekend. He had been on the phone with this mother telling her that he was depressed. I feel at that point the police should of been called immediately to go to the house and remove the children.

In cases where a break up of a family has taken place, I feel that the courts and youth protection should be advised where children much too young to protect themselves are going to be in the care of a parent who many be having a hard time dealing with the break up. In this case the emotionally stronger parent was the mother as my understanding is that Turcotte had displayed difficulties adapting to the failure of his relationship.

Nothing will bring back these two little angels. The family will live under that black cloud forever. Even if the jury declares a first degree murder sentence, he will not be eligible for parole for 25 years. Twenty five years is just not enough for me. If this crime happened in the United States, Turcotte would be sentenced to die. In twenty-five years the little angels would of only been in their twenties. So unfair. The little ones did not have a voice nor anyone to protect them. Has society failed the children?

I can only hope and pray that the jury will not be swayed that the accused was mentally ill and didn't have a clue as to what he was going. That is such a cop out and I can only think that so many other cases including Kelly-Anne's murder that this poor excuse could of be insinuated by the defence.

I ask why is the jury still deliberating and my only response is that the judge has given them too many options of sentencing. These are Turcotte's peers,just regular citizens from different walks of life. They have the facts and have to make a decision based on these facts only and not on their own personal feelings. I feel that these twelve people may presently be having a problem to agree collectively on Turcotte's fate.

But what I do know is that the fate of his children was sealed by him and that should not be discounted.

Gone too Soon

2011-06-28T18:51:00.002-04:00

Today in Ontario a 32 year old police officer lost his life while on duty. He approached a van and the driver sped off dragging the officer some 300 feet. He leaves a 2 and a half year old child and a 9 week old baby. Hearing this on the news while eating dinner just left me in tears.

Such a dedicated officer,just doing what he loved and that was working in the police force. A police officer's job is not one to be taken lightly. Yes we may all have our reservations on how we feel about the police. Many tend to voice a negative opinion and we have heard lately some stories that make us wonder what is really going on in our local police forces.

But still, when an officer is killed by such unpredictable, cowardly people I can only hope that the murderer will be tried appropriately. This officer most probably kissed his wife and children this morning as he left for work never thinking that he would not return home for supper.

May he rest in peace and his family and coworkers be given the strenght and courage during this difficult time.

Relying on Help

2011-06-28T18:20:00.002-04:00

This week in Brossard, Quebec a 78 year old women became a victim of a heinous stabbing which she died from. Another murder. This case really bothers me as it clearly shows a women who relied on help in her home as she was confined to a wheelchair.

Some forty years ago the victim, Mrs. Livingstone lost her daughter suddenly in a bar fire which many of us remember in Montreal. Since that time, Mrs. Livingstone secluded herself but as the years went by she decided to do something with her life.

The person who took Mrs.Livingstone's life is a women in her 50's who was living with the victim as her caregiver. Again we see control, intimidation and abuse. Sadly the victim could not fend off the murderer.

There is such a dependency on the caregiver when someone has a disability or is wheelchair bound. There is little that they are able to do for themselves so the caregiver is relied on for most duties. It pains me to think that the victim had no control and maybe felt very helpless. We do not have all the facts but as this case goes to court we will hear all the sad details.

Domestic abuse is not just between an man and a women. This case may be rare to hear of in the media, but I do not believe for a moment that it is uncommon. It's the silent secrets surrounded by four walls.

I believe that all people with disabilities or wheelchair bound should be guided about prevention of abuse. Did Mrs. Livingstone know that she could call 911 and leave the phone opened so the police would come to her home? Was she so afraid of this monster and felt all alone?

If you know someone who has disabilities, don't be shy to refer them to a community service where someone could stop in and see how they are doing or offer some information on prevention. Those who have no resources feel very alone and are sheltered sometimes by the wrong people.

On flip side there are people in our society who are very loving and caring to those they look after who are elderly or have disabilities. Love, respect and the up most care are given by these faithful caregivers. I've seen it first hand.

As I have mentioned it is not often we hear of such tragic stories, but we can't assume that there are not any others out there.

Help speak for those who can't.

Inquiries

2011-06-07T10:50:00.003-04:00

For those who wish to contact me for conferences,presentations or round table discussions, please contact me through this blog.

I will respond immediately to your inquiries as long as I have all your contact information.

Thanks !

Another Message

2011-06-03T06:24:00.002-04:00

It was a typical sunny summer day. I was in a pool which was very long. I was pulling a thin wired covered rope. There was a man standing on the edge of the pool encouraging me to keep pulling the rope. I continued to pull as I waded backwards in chest deep water. Suddenly, I wanted to show my true strength so I turned to face forward and pulled the rope over my shoulder as I continued to wade through the pool. The man was amazed at my strength.

Then all of a sudden I felt my right foot tipping over an edge as the pool was getting deeper. I abruptly stopped. And then I woke up.

Another dream with another message.I had this dream this past Sunday night. I couldn't figure out what it meant then. This morning I well understand it's meaning.

We have the Power

2011-05-25T20:30:00.002-04:00

With great intensity and anticipation I watched the finale of the Oprah Winfrey show. The past three days have been of mixed emotions. Oprah spoke eloquently today which I do not think for a moment anyone in her audience or in their homes moved their eyes away from Oprah. I sat there in front of the t.v. listening and digesting every word. And again, Oprah continued to empowered me, she continued to remind me that each and everyone of us has a reason for being on this earth. Her message today was what I needed to hear again. I needed to be reinforced to continue to forge forward. I needed to be reminded that we must validate each other. I also cried as I remembered that at my last job,I would validate my boss but she would never validate me.I think of that as pure ignorance, since in all my other jobs,my bosses would praise me, but this one wouldn't. This past job as bad of an experience as it was, needed to happen as it allowed to me come to the realization that my calling is to be involved with people. I need to empower and make a difference in someone's life.

I was also reminded today that what goes around comes around. I recall a day a couple of months ago when I heard a women speak to someone unknown to her over the phone. She diminished an employee because she was an immigrant and not a Quebecer. She also complained about the numerous amount of blacks living in her neighbourhood. I was appalled at her unethical behavior and I know she saw the reaction on my face.

Oprah has taught us for 25 years that we need to be tolerant of others. Weather in the USA or Canada, we are melting pots and we should embrace that. Sadly,there are still people in our communities that just don't get it.

I had a telephone call this past weekend from a women who I had hired many years ago. She told me how grateful she was that I had given her a job and that I would never know just how much it meant to her. She recounted to me that when I hired her, she was going through a tough time and needed to save her home. I gave her a job unknowing of her plight. I made a difference in this women's life. I was touched at her recounting this to me so many years later. My point in writing about this is not to pat myself on the shoulder. It is only to explain that we are all important to someone and that acts of kindness and validation can have different meanings to so many different people. Kelly-Anne constantly validated people. Whether it was her family, her friends or the man that murdered her, she always had something kind to say. As my mother would often say, "if you can't say something nice to someone, don't say anything at all."

Today I also swam where Kelly-Anne's conference room overlooks the pool. The peacefulness coupled with the serenity of the water continues to give me solace. Again, my mind is clear and my thoughts are powerful as I swim non stop. My daughter is nearby in that pool as I feel her spirit.

I am determined as ever to continue my soul searching for where I really need to be...the place where I am suppose to be. I will not take a job because it's a job...it has to be the right thing as I need to be doing what I am meant to be doing. Right now, I feel my place is at home. I feel this is where I need to be. It may sound so "domesticated" to say this, but I am loving cleaning, cooking, baking and just being home. Cooking is one of my passions. If only you could see the faces of Jules and Kim when I give they something new and interesting to taste.

I know that the right thing will happen for me.I know I will eventually work where I am meant to be and I know I will have many more opportunities to be empowered, to empower others and to make a difference.

As Oprah said, we need to live out our passions whatever they may be. One does not have to always work for money as many who volunteer are giving back to the community.We each have a gift and I believe we should not shelter that gift but give it to others.

Oprah gave everyone one of her viewers a gift....a gift of knowledge,understanding, acceptance and tolerance. Why can't we do the same.

Stoning in Kandahar

2011-05-20T06:46:00.003-04:00

Last evening I was captured by a documentary on CBC. The report was about women in Afghanistan and how they are starting to stand up for their rights. Many had their faces covered while others only wore scarfs around their heads. The reporter interviewed some as they were marching for their rights on International Women's Day. The report even showed a women who painstakingly had built her own home with sand and bricks.

My heart raced as I witnessed the stoning of a women. She was on her knees covered in her burka. Men threw stones at her until she fell to the ground and died. Why, because she was assumed to have cheated on her husband. Here we are in 2011, and still some countries treat women like slaves and second class citizens.I just can't wrap my head around this one. Witnessing this execution on t.v. was surreal. At first I thought it was just actors, but no it was real. As I watched the men throw the rocks and stones the narrator never made mention if the man implicated in the assumed affair received a penalty of some sort. I imagine not.

The plight of women in Afghanistan is a daily battle. Their responsibilities of bringing up their children remain, but they are also shunned against even when they encourage their daughters to attend school.

How will the culture and mindset ever change? I suspect only with those women who are engaged to move forward despite religion, government laws and tradition. The men will never change. Here again we witness abuse, violence and control.I only hope the the younger educated generation of women in Afghanistan will develop the tools and resources to understand that they will not accept violence against women and that they they have a right to voice their opinion.

It feels so wrong to sit back in our cozy white picket fenced homes and not acknowledge what is happening in Afghanistan and other countries where women are struggling. My question is what can we do to help these women live a better life?

The Ball

2011-05-10T20:49:00.002-04:00

Some years ago Kelly-Anne belonged to a women's gym in Dollard des Ormeaux. She had invited me to come to the gym to work out.I think the year was 1999. It was then that she introduced me to working on a large rubber exercise ball.She demonstrated with ease how to balance on it and to do sit ups. Of course I was a complete klutz and found it difficult to work with.I was impressed with her flexibility, well why would she not be as she kept herself in top notch shape.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to get together with two of my girlfriends. We call ourselves the sisterhood. One friend lives in Calgary and she and her husband made a surprise long weekend visit here in Montreal. We girls had breakfast together then set out to the mall. My friend from Dorval and I each decided to invest in the famous exercise ball.

I came home with my ball and pumped it up. Then I sat on it and to my amazement, I was able to balance well on it. I will start soon to do some exercises. My goal is to get fit this summer. It's a pack with my friends, lots of walking, swimming and exercising.

It's time to turn the new leaf of being more in shape,loosing a few un wanted pounds and feeling good. Even though our three some leaves one friend in Calgary, we feel that she is really not far away. We often skype together. For our next skype session we plan to exercises on our balls. That should be funny!

And the funniest of all will be that I will probably hear Kelly-Anne's infectious laughter ringing in my ears!

Power of One - In Kelly-Anne's Memory

2011-05-08T09:39:00.003-04:00

Here is a link to a CTV series called Power to One which I particiaped in two years ago.

http://montreal.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20091005/mtl_drummond_100509/20091005/?hub=MontrealHome

A Long Distance Relationship

2011-05-08T06:27:00.003-04:00

It is all so clear this morning.It is now 6:28 a.m. I have awaken from another dream. This time Kelly-Anne is with me, smiling,holding my hand and very happy. She is in love, she has met this young man from Britain. Her friend set her up to meet him. Kell is making a film in Britain, but comes home to tell me her good news. We are walking in the summer in a city centre. She laughs, her curly locks are bouncing on her head...oh that smile. She tells me that she had a sickness, but she is cured.
At one point in the dream we are sitting in an airplane.

This morning I feel her love even though she is so far away in a distant Heaven, but ironically so nearby.

It's Mother's Day and I feel very blessed to have had this dream. The message is obvious. Kelly-Anne loves me and in her own way has sent me that message through my dream.

Today will be a good day. The sun is starting to peak through. Kim and I will go and see a movie that we have been anxiously waiting for it's release. It is called Water for Elephants. We both read the book and enjoyed it immensely.

Happy Mother's Day!

Finding Jolène

2011-05-06T20:38:00.002-04:00

A cold case that has been on our hearts since 1999 has finally come to the recovery of Jolène's body and the arrest of a suspect. Twelve years of agony and despair for Jolène family has passed. Twelve years of not knowing the truth about the whereabouts and wondering if she was dead or alive. Here is another family walking under that black cloud. The wounds has grown wider, and now the family must face the next steps of seeking justice and burying their daughter. Such pain.

I do not know how the family has survived all these years of living the unknown.I do not think that I would have been able to cope if I had to had faced this situation with Kelly-Anne. We were given by the grace of God time to say goodbye to Kelly-Anne and the murdered was arrested immediately. Were we fortunate...no, we were blessed even though Kelly-Anne died.

Jolène's murderer has been walking the streets for the past twelve years. He is also known to the police. How many other unsolved murders could he be responsible for?

My deepest sympathies to Jolène's family. I can only hope that they find closure and get the needed support during this most difficult time.

Rest in eternal peace Jolène.

Elections in Canada

2011-04-26T13:58:00.002-04:00

The past few days have been busy as I had the opportunity to work as a Deputy Returning Officer for the Advance Polling. I accepted the challenge as I wanted to learn something new and experience the democracy of a free vote. Many people lined up to cast their vote.

For me, it was also a time to reflect on the role of the status of women here in Canada. Many years ago women were not allowed to vote. We didn't have a say in much. Times have changed as our laws allow women to have a place in our society as voters and as respected members in many government positions. Our say is important. Ironically my station was manned by women only.

I remember some years ago Kelly-Anne also worked at a polling station. I remember her telling me how she enjoyed that experience. I thought of her these past few days as I greeted many seniors who came out to vote early in the hope of avoiding the May 2nd rush. I also had the opportunity of greeting first time voters. Looking at the excitement in these young adults eyes, brought me much joy. Adulthood, the right to vote, and drink! Two responsibilities which I hope both will be taken seriously and maturely. I made sure that we all gave these newbies a round of applause as I wanted to assure that they remember their first voting experience as a special occasion.

Who will be the next prime minister of Canada? Canadians, get out and vote on May 2nd. It's your right to make the decision as to how and who will run our country.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T13:53:00.002-04:00

Today I believe in hope,renewal and peace. That is the message I heard today in church. As I sat there,with Jules, Kim and her father, I realized that a very big part of our family was missing. Kelly-Anne should of been with us in the pew. However I believe she was there nearby, witnessing a beautiful baby being baptized and hearing the message that Christ has Risen.

The bread dough is rising. The lamb and ham will soon be cooked and Jules,Kim and I will share our Easter meal. There will not be an egg hunt as Jules and I have decided that we will only have our next egg hunt when we become grandparents.Those precious moments of the girls hunting for eggs are very much close to our hearts and I know that this tradition will once again take it's rightful place one day.

Whatever your belief is, I wish you today peace and hope for the future. I cannot take for granted that I and like you are here on earth for a reason. Let that reason be that we are the ones that will forge forward no matter what our situation may be.

I wish you a day of rejoicing.

Celebrating the Spirit of Kelly-Anne

2011-04-10T20:44:00.006-04:00

Family and friends enjoying a lovely afternoon yesterday at McKibbons Irish Bar remembering Kelly-Anne. Thanks to the Montreal Barbarian Rugby Club for their great work and committment. Thanks also to Dave Moran for his music and entertaintment. How wonderful is it that Kelly-Anne's memory lives on.

Montreal Barbarian Rugby Fundraiser

2011-04-01T09:18:00.002-04:00

The Montreal Barbarian Rugby club will host their annual fundraiser in memory of Kelly-Anne on :

Saturday, April 9th 2011

McKibbons's Irish bar- West Island (St Johns' Rd north and the 40 in the shopping mall across from Fairview mall)

2:00 p.m.

Tickets are available at the door for $20.00 which includes a drink, a light buffet, music, laughter and fond memories of Kelly-Anne.
Come and join us for a pleasant afternoon where we can relax and enjoy each other's company. There will also be raffles tickets sold. All proceeds go towards the club's programs.

Many thanks to the Barbs for contining to keep kelly-Anne's memory alive!

Kelly-Anne & Friends

2011-03-30T13:58:00.004-04:00

I received this picture today from the pool director. I was swimming and she said that she had a picture to give me. So typical of Kelly-Anne, enjoying her kids.

Dr. Seuss

2011-03-29T09:06:00.001-04:00

" Don't cry because something ended. Smile because it happened"

Kudos Kim

2011-03-27T16:29:00.002-04:00

Today I watched Kim play in the final round of a squash tournament. I am also proud to say that she won first place. This entry is not about boasting her victory,even though I am very proud of her. Kim has been working very hard on herself. She eats well, is disciplined and exercises hard as she wants to be the best she can be. Kim has done great job of it and it her hard work has paid off.

Being a spectator at a squash tournament is not quite the same as watching your child play hockey or waterpolo. There is a certain composure that is expected of those in the stands with rules and regulations to abide by. Therefore I and her father restrained ourselves from any loud expressive words of encouragement.

However, I did notice something interesting during the match. Kim did not know her opponent nor ever played against her. During the match the opponent fell a couple of times. The play stopped and as natural as the day she was born, and the exact replicated actions of Kelly-Anne, Kim went over and ask the opponent if she was okay. That is what counts, clean competition and respect for others and for me that is all more important that winning the game.

When Kim was born, we were told that she was a loving baby. I am sure I have mentioned that earlier on in my blog, but even at 30 years old, some things do not change. I can't be more proud of Kim and Kelly-Anne when is comes to sportwomenship. Kelly-Anne demonstrated this when she played Rugby. She would whack her opponent, then run up to her to make sure she was okay.

Two peas in a pod. I can't be prouder.

Being Accountable

2011-03-12T21:24:00.006-05:00

A Saint -Hyacinthe women today lost her life from being stabbed by her partner. She was 29 years old and a mother to a two and four year old. The children witnessed the stabbing. How despicable is this. How out raged and sick was the partner to commit this heinous crime in front of the very young children, let alone commit this crime at all.

Earlier this week a 25 year old Montreal women was stabbed by her boyfriend. Enough already with these stabbings. I've said it before and I will say it again, crimes with knives are used more than guns to commit murder. The government is not going to put a ban on knives. What are we going to do about this? You know I am not going to sit back and take it. We need to be accountable to work together to educate the youth and create awareness amongst men and women.

Here are some ideas to help you get started. You may be involved with the youth or are in a position in the workplace that allows you to create programs for your workers. Maybe you belong to a church group or organization and are able to create a forum amongst your peers or students. Here are some of my ideas that I hope schools, organizations, workplaces will consider doing to build awareness.

1. Do not be silent. We all have an opinion, voice it. Create discussions with your entourage about violence against women and children. Talk about domestic abuse. Thank goodness the children who witnessed their mother being stabbed were were not murdered nor hurt, but emotional they are scared for life and no longer have a mother.
2. Create conferences and workshops in yours schools or workplaces about abuse. Call your local police department or women's shelter to get started. Invite representatives to come and speak about violence and discuss preventive measures and the signs of domestic abuse.
3. Educate your children. Boys should grow up understanding how to respect people especially girls. Girls need to be informed that there is no shame in making a bad choice and that they do not have to be tied into a relationship that is riddled with abuse.
4. Lead by example...what is love and how do you show love to your children. Girls need to understand that being slapped around and bullied by a boyfriend is not love. I was horrified today as I sat in the car waiting for Jules to pick up a coffee at Tim Hortons's. A women was dragging her little boy into her car. As she was opening the car door,she was yelling at him and calling him an asshole. He was maybe 5 years old. What message is that little boy getting? What kind of young man will he turn into? Gosh I hope the mother reads this blog.
5. Create a fundraiser for a women's shelter....collect clothes,money,toys and ask to visit the shelter.It is when you go into that environment, you can gain a better understanding as to why the women and children are there and what their needs are.
6.Lobby your governments for change. Presently, I am doing that. It's about being passionate in what you believe in. Prepare a presentation, show some stats, explain why a law should be change and how it will benefit others. If one person does not what to listen to you,go to the next. That is what I have done and most importantly...follow up. Don't be shy to call and up and say .."hey remember me, what's happening with my proposal".
7. Again, it is silence that kills women and children.

' As loud as violence is in the privacy of one's home, it is so silent for the women who women who suffers at the hands of these men."

Doreen Haddad-Drummond

What I Learnt this Month

2011-02-26T11:16:00.004-05:00

I am happy in some ways that February is almost over. It has been a trying month both health and work wise. This past month we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary along with St. Valentine's and of course I was pampered with roses, chocolates, cards and lots of love.

I also had a learning curve about life. Here is a list of what I learnt this month:

1. I learnt that we have a terrible shortage of family doctors and as Jules and I discussed with our doctor this past week, if we do not go regularly to our family doctor the government will assume we do not need a family doctor and soon the aging population of GP's here in Quebec will not be replaced.So please visit your family doctor once a year...not just to keep them happy but to make sure your health is in tack.

2. I learnt that my health is the most important thing that I own and that I will not let any job or stressful event in my life compromise that.

3. I learnt that Kelly-Anne touched people's lives unknown to me. I had the opportunity of meeting some of these people last weekend at the screening of Dreams & Mirrors and know that I now have created new and stimulating relationships.

4. I learnt that I really do not like Claims Management and want to work more with people.

5. I learnt this month that Facebook is so superficial. I left Facebook over a month or so ago and the majority of my friends on my Facebook list haven't even bothered to drop me an email to say hi. Needless to say I haven't emailed many of my friends so there you go, Facebook is really a waste of time.

6. I learnt this month that those golden relationships with my old colleagues at HBC are still so alive.One old friend who I considered like my younger brother called me this week. These relationships that have endured at least 17 years are so lasting and sadly no matter how many more jobs I have in my life, the relationships will never be as bonding as those I had at HBC. The people at HBC walked with me through my grief. These friends shared my lost and I know now that no matter where I work, any eventual employer will never understand the complex issue of homicide, sudden loss and it's impact. Nor can I expect them to understand.

7. I learnt this past month that the dolphins are protecting me.( read my entry about My Dream) I learnt that the man in my dream who I called Andrew Short does exist. The one I found when I Googled his name ironically has the same birthday as Kelly-Anne. I can't seem to figure out that one.

8. I learnt I can no longer drink coffee unless I make it myself and that water is my favorite drink of all.

9. I learnt that Vitamin B50 Complex really is a good thing.

10. I learnt that polyps on the cervix is a common women's issue and are benign.

11. I learnt that being true to myself is the most important thing and that I can continue to face my challenges with integrity and courage.

12. I learnt that things happen for a reason and that as my journey continues, more doors will be opened, but it will be my choice as to which door I will enter.

Another Loss

2011-02-20T20:49:00.002-05:00

Being a news junkie sometimes has its negative side. I like to know what is going on in the world and around my community but when I read again about another Montreal murder, it makes me just wanted to scream in agony especially when an innocent person's life is taken so violently.

Today,I read that another young women is stabbed and killed in Montreal. Two men are being held by police. She was just 21 years old. We do know the facts yet. However, I ask the question again: why? Was this an issue of " If I can't have you nobody else will"
Again,is the weapon a knife? I am assuming so. Of course when I hear the word stabbing, I immediately think of a knife, as it is too close to home for me. We talk about gun control, gun registries and how the government debates these issues, but we rarely talk about knives as being the lethal weapon.

Recent statics have indicated that more crimes are committed with knives than with guns. Knives are easily accessible. We all have them in our homes. But nobody seems to really care about that. We will never band knives. To ensure that they are used for what they were intended for means that we need to continually educate the youth and adults about violence against others and that abuse of all sorts is not acceptable. It's this irrational, unspeakable rage that men use as controlling mechanism towards women that must stop.

I grieve for this young women and her family. Their lives are now forever changed. May she rest in peace and her family be surrounded with support and love.

And Kelly-Anne's Legacy Continues.....

2011-02-16T18:47:00.003-05:00

In 2003 Kelly-Anne worked as a production assistant for a film being produced here in Montreal. I remember her telling me about it. She was excited as she had just graduated from Concordia in Communications. She had a passion for film, especially sound.

The years went by and I never thought throughout my grief about the film. I feel sad about that as I wonder now what else have I forgot about Kelly-Anne and her accomplishments.

Last week Kell's father received an envelope in the mail addressed to Kelly-Anne. Low and behold it was an invitation for Kell to attend the screening of the finally finished film called Dreams and Mirrors. We got in contact with the producer to let her know what happened to Kelly-Anne. She was totally un aware and in shock. It pained me to talk to her about it.I felt so bad for her and how she must of felt when she finally found out. The strange irony is that the producer called the writer and told her about it. The writer knew of our tradegy and our story but never knew that Kelly-Anne worked on the film.

This Saturday we will be there for the screening. The film is being dedicated in Kelly-Anne's memory.

Another irony, the film is about violence against women.

Kelly-Anne continues to life on through so many facets and now her dream has come true...to be a part of a film that has been completed. What an honor!

A Dream

2011-01-22T16:12:00.003-05:00

I had the strangest dream last night,or at least I thought is was strange until I really gave it some serious thought this morning. I dreamt that I was taking care of a little boy who was Kim's son. He was about four years old. I was taking him to a zoo, but in order to get to the zoo, I had to to carry him in my arms and wade through the ocean. Once we arrived at the zoo we met his father who surprised us with a visit. The father is someone that I know but in my dream his name was Andrew Short. ( I don't know anyone with that name).

When it was time to return back home I headed back to the ocean with the little boy but I became afraid as I saw sharks two by two swimming by us. I said that we can't go into the water so we headed for a wooded cabin on the beach. In the cabin were many people. I said to the people that I have to get home but can't pass through the ocean because of the sharks. Everyone ignored me. I walked back out to the ocean. I realized then that as I continued to watch the fish sail by me that they were not sharks but porpoises or dolphins. I then woke up.

Once I could think clearly, I realized that the dolphins in my dream were so beautiful,gracefull and harmless. We all know that when there are dolphins swimming in the ocean, there are no sharks nearby. I guess the message I retained from this dream is that I do not have to be worried as I am being watched over by Kelly-Anne and her dolphins.

Another Cruel Reminder

2011-01-08T18:23:00.002-05:00

Tragedy has struck the state of Arizona today. A gunman selfishly takes the lives of eight innocent people and critically injures others among them Congresswomen Gabrielle Giffords. Why? A casual Saturday morning at a Safeway grocery store, people gather to hear the Congresswomen speak to her people. Citizens who Gilford respected and who in turn respected and looked up to her as their leader.

Sudden death, violence and again the black cloud hovering over the victims and their families. This heinous act reminds us of how precious each day is.

Earlier this week as Tony Proudfoot, former football player and teacher was laid to rest after he lost his battle with ALS, we were all reminded of his view on life. "Suck it up" were his words of wisdom to his family and friends that were reiterated at his funeral.

Each day is important as we do not know what the future holds for any of us. We wine and become frustrated over petty things. We stop talking to our friends and families because we are disturbed with their actions, beliefs or lifestyle.

For those victims murdered today, their families never got to say goodbye,never were able to tell them on their last day on earth how much they loved them. Is that what we all want? To live with the I should of's ?

Loosing Kelly-Anne suddenly, reminds me that life is precious and that going forward I am and will always be a caring and concerned mother, wife and friend to those around me.

So suck it up...get over it and embrace each day. I know I have.

Christmas

2010-12-24T15:08:00.003-05:00

Christmas is already here. It seems that this past year has sped by so quickly. The gifts are wrapped and under the tree. Tonight we will go to midnight mass and tomorrow will will feast with all the Christmas fare of turkey, meat pies and dessert.

I woke up this morning feeling glum.I was thinking of Kelly-Anne and feeling sad that she is not here with us. Her place setting at the table will have a candle lit and I hope that will give me some peace in knowing that her spirit is with us. I was also feeling sad for others unknown to me who have so little or have suffered hardships that we may never understand. The people in Haiti, our soldiers and the families of soldiers killed in Afghanistan and those in our very own cities who do not have homes or any money to feed and cloth their children. We have so much of everything. The abundance of food is never ending. Jules and I went out to breakfast this morning and somehow got on this conversation about those who are in difficult times. We truly do have alot to be thankful for despite our own loss.

Family and friends called today to extend their warm wishes for the holiday season. Everyone means well, but it is very hard to be in the spirit of the holidays.Kelly-Anne loved Christmas and I am thankful that we have wonderful photos of her as a child under the tree on Christmas morning. I will scan some pictures and post them. Both she and Kim would have matching pj's. Just their smiles on their faces on Christmas morning was so delightful to see.

A friend of mine told me today that his half brother found him. He never even knew that that this person existed. I look at this as a gift. A new brother comes into his life probably at a time when he needs it the most. We really do not know what life will bring us. As I have said so often, life is fragile and we must live for today. We must love those around us and cherish our fond memories of today and of Christmas past.

I wish you all not matter if you believe in the spirit of Christmas or not, a beautiful and peaceful holiday season and New Year filled with health, happiness and love.

Another Birthday

2010-11-28T08:08:00.004-05:00

Today would of marked Kelly-Anne's 31st birthday. Today we can only imagine if she were alive how happy and proud she would of been. That smile, those curly locks and perhaps a little toddler with those same curls lagging behind her dragging a blanket and a favorite stuffed animal. We will never know what might of been.

This evening,once again for the 6th year, we will gather to toast Kelly-Anne and remember her spirit, her perseverance and determination towards competitive life guarding. For many in attendance, they will not have known Kelly-Anne. They will only of known her by her reputation as being a world class athlete. Her legacy continues to live on in those who challenge themselves to the harsh waves and deep waters of our oceans.

For me, the pain doesn't go away. The lump is still my throat. I just get better at masking my true feelings. I put on a smile and forge forward each day remembering what Kelly-Anne would expect me to do. The swimming gets better and each time I flex my arm and see the strength of my muscles, I hear Kelly-Anne in my head with that little chuckle of pleasure and envision that smile of approval on her face.

They say time heals...that's a crock of bull. They should say...time changes things :life and oneself becomes different.

I love you and miss you each day Kelly-Anne.xxxxx

Video: Sister's Keeper

2010-11-14T09:49:00.002-05:00

Here is a video from today's Gazette where Kim speaks openly of the loss of Kelly-Anne. Again, I am in awe of Kim.

Video: Sister's Keeper

Thoughts about Kelly-Anne

2010-11-10T13:12:00.003-05:00

Here we are already in November. They say that November is the month of the dead. I tend to agree with that. Last week I attended a church service remembering the dead and of course prayers for Kelly-Anne were said. November is such a dismal month. The sun is shining today, but that is a rarity.

Last week I had a conference call with the hard working committee members for Kelly-Anne's cocktail. It the same each year at this time. We plan the cocktail fundraiser and work hard at getting donations and selling tickets. I wonder what Kelly-Anne is thinking about all of this. It's weird to be planning her birthday party each year as she is not in attendance. Only her spirit is there. Kelly-Anne's steadfast lifesaving friends will be there too. How proud Kelly-Anne would be to see that her friends who she competed with now have children. Their lives have moved forward and I know that Kelly-Anne as I is happy for that.

Who else, I ask goes thought this each year on their deceased daughter's birthday? Sometimes I feel so different that everyone else...maybe because I am different. I still can't get away from the fact that I walk under a black cloud. I'm labeled.

I will take pride in contributing to honoring Kelly-Anne on her 31st birthday. My family and friends are so supportive and will join me to raise a glass to toast Kelly-Anne. I can only believe that she will be looking down and beaming in admiration over the the many people who work hard to keep her memory alive and at the same time work to insure that lives are saved through the hard work of the Quebec Lifesaving Society.

Cocktail Fundraiser in honor of Kelly-Anne

2010-10-22T15:47:00.007-04:00

The Societé de Sauvetage du Québec and the Family of

Kelly-Anne Drummond

cordially invite you to attend the Cocktail Fundraiser in

Memory of Kelly-Anne

On

Sunday, November 28th 2010

At

6:00 p.m.

The Dollard Des Ormeaux Aquatic Center

12001, De La Salaberry

Dollard des Ormeaux

Donation : $50.00 per person

Come and enjoy this annual event as we remember Kelly-Anne on what would have been her 31st birthday. We celebrate her love of life, her accomplishments as a competitive lifeguard and her example of sportsmanship, where she has continued to inspire our lifeguards.

“ Competitive Life guarding is the only sport that saves lives.”

To reserve your tickets, please call 514-252-3100

http://www.sauvetage.qc.ca/English/contenu-splash.asp?id=159

Victim's ex-lover arrested in fatal Montreal North stabbing

2010-10-17T16:16:00.000-04:00

Here is a story in today's Montreal Gazette. Another young mother of three has been fatally stabbed by her ex husband. A restraining order was put in place, but of course the order was not respected. It is time now that our police forces and government agencies understand that restraining orders do not protect a women's life nor the lifes of children. They are always at risk when even with a retraining order. It is another family tragedy where three young children no longer have their mother.

Victim's ex-lover arrested in fatal Montreal North stabbing

A Poem

2010-10-14T14:54:00.002-04:00

Here is a poem which Rachel sent to me. I was so happy this past week to have a visit from her. Rachel's bubbly smile and personality always makes me feel good. She thought of me today when she found this poem. It really fits how I feel.

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~

October 5th 2004 - Footprints in the Sand and Saying Goodbye

2010-10-04T18:44:00.010-04:00

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved

I received this poem yesterday from my dear neighbour.I had always loved and believed in this poem and thought it fitting to share it with you.

Today, six years ago we said good bye to Kelly-Anne. The biggest decision in our lives was to have the life support system which kept Kell's heart beating turned off. A very special ethic's nurse said to me as we stood over Kelly-Anne's lifeless body that what we saw in front of us was just a shell and that her soul had already gone to Heaven. Her words helped us decide to have the machine turned off. My best friend,a priest gave prayers of the last rite and communion. We hugged and kissed Kelly-Anne. It was 3:30 p.m. The sound of the life support machine is still embedded in my mind.

The weather today in Montreal is identical to the weather six years ago. A lightly cool breeze with the sun shining. That is how I remember October 5th 2004. I also remember how Kelly-Anne's face was perfect, warm and flawless. Up until the machines were turned off, we asked for miracles.

The time has passed very quickly and many things have happened. For me,the past six years has been a learning curve in so many ways.I know full well that Kelly-Anne is always nearby. She is there when the big decisions have to be made. She is there for the special holidays. She is there to help carry me through the sadness....oh I can just hear her soft sympathetic voice saying "Oh,Mommy". I still remember running my fingers through her soft ringlets as she would sometimes lay next to me on the bed.

The candle will be lit today at 3:30 p.m. I hope to see another star tonight hovering over my head. I will call out her name and she will respond with a quick twinkle and a smile.

October 4th 2004 - Love and Support Continues On

2010-10-04T14:12:00.005-04:00

I was up early this morning as I went into the city to help out a good friend at her church with the preparation of the Christmas Puddings for their bazaar. It was good to be out of the house for a while and to feel that I was needed for something.
Riding the train to and fro was fun as I really miss the train.On my way home my thoughts reflected about Kelly-Anne. I sat where the sun was able to beam down on me. The warmth on my face felt good and I felt at peace. Kelly-Anne is safe, I said to myself and she is nearby.Last night a lonely star shone above me as I sat on the balcony....a Kelly-Anne star I will call it.

Today on Facebook,I am so touched and overwhelmed by many of Kell's close friends who changed their facebook picture to include one of them with Kell. What a tribute with so much love. It's this type of kindness that helps me get through the day...the little things, the thoughtfulness of others. Yesterday, my cousin and I went to the mall. I really liked a particular sweater and she bought it for me...just to make me happy and feel that she could do something for me. She gave me beautiful pink roses as she said she just wanted to brighten my day.

This evening, the candle is lit next to the flowers and Kell's picture. Painful thoughts of six years ago on this day still haunt me. The crowds of Kelly-Anne's family and friends overtaking the trauma unit remind me of how all were so stunned and shocked about what had happened to Kell. But they were all there to see Kell and offer prayers and love. For that I will always remember and be grateful of the support which we had and that even six years later the support and love is still here. How blessed is Kelly-Anne's family!

I was asked by a friend if I am pissed off over the lost of beautiful Kelly-Anne. I have responded by saying yes,of course I am pissed off, but I cannot allow my anger to destroy me. Only a parent or a sibling who has gone through what our family has will understand homicide. We walk under a black cloud 24/7. We are different than everyone else....a sect of our own. How many times and even today, a stranger says to me "oh your Doreen Drummond....I know all about you" Strangers know me because they know of Kelly-Anne's story...they don't know me anything more but as the Mother.

I slept well last night and I pray that I do so tonight. The emotions are scrambling right now. There are a couple of people I need to speak to. I need to tell them that I love them. One is someone who Kell and our family loved and still loves and the other is someone who came into my our lives after Kell died. Both uniquely different people who have hearts filled with gold and compassion.

I need to find a 30" x 31" black picture frame with a glass. Does anyone know where I can get one? I have to complete a special project to honor Kelly-Anne, but am having trouble finding one. My projects keep me busy and give me a smile as I know how much Kell loved her projects. Once I find my frame, I will post the tribute.

October 3rd 2004: The Day that Changed Our Lives Forever

2010-10-03T09:10:00.011-04:00

I remember October 3rd as being much like today. It was cool and the sun shone. I picked up Kim to go to Fairview as she asked me to go with her to look for shoes for a wedding she was to attend. I asked Kim if we should call Kell to join us. She said no because as I quote her: " Kelly-Anne and Marty were having a Kelly-Anne and Marty day ". I thought ok, that's nice. Off we went to Fairview.I remember bumping into my dental hygienist....I always seem to bump into someone I know when shopping at Fairview.

It was just an ordinary Sunday. I cooked supper and prepared for the week ahead. I remember that evening sitting in my pj's in front of the t.v. watch On Assignment. The topic was the "Coroner's Office." How creepy is that.I then went to bed and fell into a deep sleep. The phone rang around 11:00 p.m. I didn't answer it at first as I though it was part of my dream. Once I woke, I laid in bed and then phone rang again and I answered it. From that moment on, my life had changed and now I was in a tailspin of emotions. Through a series of events I soon found myself at the hospital and thinking that I was still asleep in my dream.

I remember at one point being given the telephone. There was a male voice at the other end. I remember the voice sounding kind. I don't remember why I was speaking to him, but I remember him wishing me luck. He was a police detective, a man unknown to me and now had come into our lives. He would be the man that would eventually fight for justice for Kelly-Anne,her family, friends and the community.To this day, he remains very special to me and I hold him close in my heart. The hours went by as we sat by Kelly-Anne who was so lifeless. We were in total disbelief. Somehow the disbelief still remains with me.

This weekend so far we hear of multiple murders, much like the weekend six years ago. What is it about the first weekend in October that gives the right to people to kill each other.

The cemetery was wet and cold today. The aura of silence filled the plots as cars slowly drove through to pay respects to their loved ones. We noticed that the flat stone monuments needed fixing. The land has sunken and is starting to destroy the usual pristine look of the cemetery. We added our bouquet of flowers to the flowers that her father had placed. They all looked beautiful together as the colors blended in so well.No matter how long the time passes there is always such a profound sadness when we are standing over her grave. Kelly-Anne should not be there. Each time I am there I keep looking at the name inscribed on the plaque, hoping that there has been some terrible mistake and that I am visiting someone with the same name who has died after living a very long and fulfilling life. But reality sets in when I see the dates and know that it really is Kelly-Anne buried there.

A candle was lit at supper hour and remains next to Kell's grad picture. Tonight I choose to honor Kelly-Anne with one of her favorite meals. Roast beef encrusted with black pepper and oregano with assorted vegetables.

The sun has now set and the night lies ahead. I am so tired that I hope I will sleep well. Rachel has called me. I was so happy to hear her voice. She writes on her blog that she ask that we" pray for the repose of Kelly-Anne's soul and for strength,peace, and grace for all those who loved her".. I seconded her request.

" May her memory be eternal."

Day 8

2010-10-02T16:31:00.005-04:00

Our usual Saturday morning routine started early this morning with a trip to the grocery store. I keep on telling my husband that we spend too much money on groceries.I say we eat for four people. That comment only makes him laugh. He decided that he would cut out the purchase of soft drinks, like that is going to make a big difference at the cash! We bought some nice flowers for our visit tomorrow to the graveside. Lots of purples and pinks tones.

The oddest thing happened today. I was outside on the balcony and there was this one autumn leaf hovering in the air dancing all alone in front of me. I must of stared at it for a good ten minutes and wondered how could this leaf be twirling in the air without falling to the ground. I looked to see if there was anything attached to it, but there wasn't. How interesting as many of the leaves have now changed color and fallen to the ground. This particular one was just happy to be dancing alone in mid air. I finally went to the leaf and stood beside it as it continued to dance. I was looking closer to see if there was something attached that I may of not noticed from the balcony but there wasn't. After standing there for a couple of minutes,I finally grabbed it and placed it on the ground. I asked myself if this a sign from Kelly-Anne telling me to dance and be happy?

This evening,six years ago was the last time that I had a conversation with Kelly-Anne. She was at her father's home and called me to chat briefly about her trip.She told me about the portraits which she purchased in Italy that she was giving me. She also said that she bought me a pair of underwear from a marketplace. We laughed over that purchase. She was so happy. I didn't know that that would be the last time we would speak. I asked her how Marty was and she said something to the effect as I can't remember her exact words: "Mom, I need to be more respectful towards him".I remember biting my tongue and not responding to her,but my thoughts were you don't need to be more respectful, you were brought up to be respectful to people. I simply ended the conversation by saying that I had to go to bed and we said goodnight to each other.I didn't realize that that that was a sign of an abused women. I am grateful that we didn't argue and that we had a pleasant conversation despite her comment about how she should treat Marty.

This evening I spent in good company with old work friends at a retirement party for a friend who I have know for many many years. The party allowed me to escape my dreaded thoughts for a few hours and laugh a little. The next few days will be tough but I feel something surprisingly is going to happen. I feel this aura of new energy around me. Kelly-Anne has something up her sleeve...I just know it.

Day 7

2010-10-01T14:58:00.004-04:00

Here is a picture which I promised that I would post. These are a sample of the greeting cards which Kelly-Anne would create. It came to my attention only today when I browsed through them that Kell had written notes in certain samples that she had been experimenting with. They were notes to herself on how she could make improvements using different types of glue, ribbons and fabric. Typical Kelly-Anne always trying to find better ways of doing things! I also found apiece of paper where she had broken down the costs of making the cards. You can see the Ladybug cards in red. She had them costing her $0.03 each to produce.I wonder what she intended on selling them for. It was all about detail and originality that made her cards special.

Today, I watched the installation of the new Governor General of Canada. I though of Kelly-Anne while I watched as I somehow know that she would of enjoyed watching this ceremony. She would of been most impressed with them man from Newfoundland who sang a special song to the new GG. Kell loved Celtic east coast music the likes of Ashey MacIssac and others. For those that do not know this, Kell was conceived in Carbonear, NLFD so I guess that may be a reason why she loved east coast music.

Today,I feel out of sorts. I really could use some sunshine! I continue to apply for jobs as I want to keep all my options opened. Still no news from my telephone interview a couple of days ago. I know the right thing will happen for me at the right time.

Day 6

2010-09-30T15:54:00.003-04:00

Today was a good day. Breakfast out this morning with a good friend, then we did a little shopping at Costco. It seemed that everyone was there today shopping as parking was at a premium. It's what people do on rainy, gloomy days....spend money.

My thoughts brought me back to yesterday's telephone interview as I seemed to pick up on cell phone and call home for messages more of fen that usual. I wait in anticipation to see if I will get a second interview for the job. I know that I am the person for the job, but it's challenging convincing others that I am the one and only best choice.

I also browsed in a magazine and found an interesting idea to display seashells. I have tons of seashells which Kelly-Anne and Kim brought me from their numerous trips away. This craft was about making shadow boxes and displaying the seashells from the ocean where they would of originated from. I looked at my collection and said to myself that I have no way of knowing which ones were from Kelly-Anne. I thought that I could create a collage of hers separately, but that is not going to happen. I will just use the shells appropriate in size and shape and create my shadowboxes.

I also read Rachel's blog. She and Kelly-Anne were best friends. Please take a moment and read her blog at www.kadrummond.blogspot.com

Rachel shares beautiful stories of their years together. In her latest post, Rachel writes about how she sees girls of Kelly-Anne's stature who also have the curly hair and has to do a double take as she thinks that it could be Kell. Well that has happened to me a few times....boy did my heart ever pound when I had these sightings. Can I please jump out of my dream and have Kelly-Anne come knocking on my front door one day?

Day 5

2010-09-29T15:57:00.004-04:00

I am trying to get use of not having any sun shining in the house these days. It's so dismal and wet. It's the time of the year that I load up on vitamin D and calcium.

I had a telephone interview today that lasted one hour for a position in Montreal. I felt I did well and this job would suit my abilities nicely.I really want to work. It's not just about collecting a pay check every two weeks. Itis more than that. It's about being a part of something positive and about working with people. It's in my blood. As much as I have enjoyed my time at home and at the pool this past summer, I really miss the structure in my life of getting up in the morning and making a difference in a workplace.

Kelly-Anne loved also going to work. She had a keen interest in all the jobs which she held in her short life. When I think about Kelly-Anne during her time in San Diego where she worked for a catering company and bakery called The French Gourmet. When she returned to Montreal,she taught me so much about setting up a buffet table. There really is a technique to make a table look presentable. She had the talent for it. She would ride a bicycle to work carrying her pressed white blouse and black skirt. Kelly-Anne wasn't shy to try anything. Her attitude inspires me to not be afraid of new work places, but to embrace the opportunities to learn new things and be with new people. I like these ideals and I just can't wait to start working again.

Day 4

2010-09-28T13:04:00.009-04:00

I thought for this week I would try and remove myself from listening to the news or read it. But today, I broke down and since I am a news junkie, I ate my lunch in from of the t.v.

The headlines for today in the Gazette include the following: 1 in 4 Canadians are victims of crime, a 19 year old girl is murdered in a park in B.C., a 15 year old intoxicated girl reports that she was apparently sexually assaulted, a 39 year old chef commits suicide because of something that Chef Gordon Ramsay had said to him while on Hell`s Kitchen, a gunman kills himself at a Texas university campus,a body is found in a burning car and a wall of a building falls and kills a 54 year old man. I think this is enough for one day.

The words that come to mind for all these headlines are Trauma, Grief, Memories, Loss,Anger,Denial,and Pain. Words that I can so easily identify with. It is hard not to feel moved and hurt for these victims and their families as their lives will forever change.

Today, I took photos of the scrapbook which I made last year of Kelly-Anne`s trip to Italy. Making the scrapbook allowed me to come more to terms with the fact that she is no longer alive. I had the tendency to tell myself these past years that Kell was away on vacation or living back in San Diego. It`s all part of the disbelief that one goes through after a trauma, but the scrapbook helped me come to terms with my thoughts and feelings. I have posted some of the pictures. I am so happy that she had the opportunity to travel to Italy. My hopes and dreams are that I will too have the chance to travel to Italy and retrace the route that she took. My friend will come to visit me next week and promises to bring me movies that take place in Italy in the Tuscany region. Two weeks ago I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. The scenery of Italy was beautiful. There was a spot which they shot that I know Kelly-Anne stood there over looking the city of Florence. I had this lump in my throat as I watched this part of the movie and only said to myself how thankful I was that Kelly-Anne had that chance to experience such beauty.

Day 3

2010-09-27T15:58:00.004-04:00

I awoke early this morning and made decision that I would keep busy and active this week, but needless to say my plans of going swimming today just didn't happen. I also woke with with a sore throat and head congestion. My hubby had the same thing last week and even up to today he can hardly talk. I feel the same way, so the solitude of my home was very comforting today. I looked outside and at one point the sun shone, but what I noticed was the many colorful leaves now fallen from the trees. It just seems that fall really creeped up on us quite quickly here in Montreal.

I have this "policy" that I don't wear any socks between June 1st and October 1st. Well I don't think I will get to October 1st this year without any socks on! Kelly-Anne too like her bare feet and sockless shoes. She even felt comfortable driving in bare feet! Now that is not something that I can do.

Today after breakfast I prepared a spaghetti sauce. I usually make one each week or two. I just love the herbs and spices in my sauce, not that I could smell them very well today. I also throw in a cup of red wine. I find the wine while simmering for a bit gives a nice rich flavor. While cooking I thought about the meals that Kelly-Anne liked to cook and sadly it brought me back to the last meal that she ever cook. Pork chops and side kick noodles. I said to myself...get that out of my head and think about the meals that she cooked in happier times. At that point I remembered her roast beef dinners garnished with all the trimming. She really was a good cook.

I thought about her again today as I sat with my button box and reorganized it. I have this plastic mauve colored box which has hundreds of the most beautiful buttons. I was thinking about how Kelly-Anne loved to sew and how she would of probably asked me for some of these buttons.

I thought about Thanksgiving weekend and decided to make a reservation in Ontario for our Thanksgiving meal. It's only about 1.5 hours away. Jules and I have been going there for the past two years. It's quaint,old fashion home cooking in the country and I don't have to cook. I had spend so many years cooking meals for the holidays that by the end of the day I was tired and exhausted from everything. It now has come to a point in my life that I want to enjoy the holidays in a more relaxed way. Driving through the autumn breeze and colorful scenery is a better way of doing things. It's about time that will not be wasted over a stove. I always loved Thanksgiving weekend. It was a really big thing while growing up and while the girls were young and my parents were still alive. In 2004, that all changed. Since then, I have been dreading October as for what is now symbolized in being a very sad month. I am trying now to bring myself to appreciate October and it's beauty and to look forward to my birthday and at the end of the month to Kim's birthday.

Tonight after supper, Jules and I will sit and watch our favorite shows while sipping tea. I will surprise him with a couple of baked apples.....we need to warm the soul and start to enjoy the month ahead.....I keep telling myself that Kelly-Anne would expect us to enjoy October but without her here, it isn't easy. Life is not better or worse than prior to October 2004. It's just different. Part of my soul is still lost and very wounded and it is with every step and breath that I take, that I remind myself that I must forge forward, keep strong and love those around me.

Day 2

2010-09-26T16:16:00.005-04:00

Today, being such a dull and gloomy fall day, I decided to create pictures frames showing papers that Kelly-Anne which she brought from Italy. I imagine she bought these rolls of decorative art paper with the intention of using them for her gift cards. She loved making cards and was quite creative.She would sign the back of the cards as "KellMark". She wanted to be a direct competitor to Hallmark! Here are the frames which my hubby photographed.

I will make a collage of the gifts cards and post them later this week.

The 6th Anniversay- Day 1

2010-09-26T02:06:00.004-04:00

It is early Sunday morning, the wee hours of stillness one might say. It is also one week prior to the fateful Sunday that changed our lives forever. For many of us effected by Kelly-Anne 's death we remember exactly where we were and what we were doing at this time 6 years ago. I thought this year I would try and document each day my feelings and thoughts and actions. This year in particular the dates and days all fall exactly as they were 6 years ago.I find that such an eerie feeling and wonder how I will get through the next few weeks. As usually I will have no choice but to do it one day at a time....well actually one minute at a time.

I'll start now with this morning. I will get some sleep, then wake up and do the usually Sunday morning routine. I will also take in a walk with a neighbour. I have some ideas on crafts and plan to get what I need to create some crafts in honor of Kelly-Anne and her trip to Italy. Once they are completed I will post the pictures. For that I am excited that I have come up with a couple great ideas to showcase some of the articles which she brought back with her from her trip.

This week I plan to keep busy.....swimming,hanging with friends, cooking meals that Jules will be delighted with, watch my favorite t.v. shows, housework, job hunting,crafts, seeing old HBC friends, and of course blogging.

I know that I am loved and supported by many and that gives me peace. Even though the devastating memories are as clear as yesterday,I am reassured by many that I am not alone and as my dear cousin reminded me in an email today...I will see Kelly-Anne again.

National Day of Rememberance for Murdered Victims

2010-09-25T16:58:00.002-04:00

Today we remember all victims of murder in all countries throughout the world. We have all been touched by this subject and for many of us we know someone who has had their life snuffed out from this heinous act of crime. I ask all of you to light a candle in memory of those who are no longer with us.

We will never forget Kelly-Anne and the many many others who lost their lives from people who were controlling, jealous and evil. Many these loved ones who I will call soldiers rest in peace in the eternal gardens in Heaven.

Birthday Gifts

2010-09-10T11:41:00.003-04:00

After going through a life altering drama such as loosing a loved one to homicide, we tend to forget about ourselves as we are so often are busy tending to the rest of the family, fighting off depression, learning to accept and live without that special person and grieving his or hers death. One thing that I have noticed since Kelly-Anne's death is that each time around the anniversary I or Jules get physically sick. Is it the change of season or just the post-trauma? The doctor tells me it's post -trauma.

These past couple of weeks have been difficult...the pool is now closed, the leaves are starting to slowly change and the memories of Kelly-Anne preparing for her trip to Italy are still very fresh.

In all of this I only now have received the wake call about my personal responsibilities towards myself. My doctor reminded two weeks ago that I was no longer 30 years old. Yay, right ...like I didn't know that! Don't get me wrong. I have been taking care of myself...yearly check ups, blood work, eating right and exercising. But the fact still remains that at a certain age we all must be aware that we should be having certain tests.

The rule of thumb....age 40: mammogram, age 50: colonoscopy. These are both vital and important tests that can detect certain cancers. Think of it as prevention and as the nicest and best birthday gift you could give yourself.

I had my colonoscopy today. The doctor asked me if he could sedate me. I said no meds...it was 15 minutes of a little deep breathing...just like I was in labour. I thought of two things as I laid on the bed...Jesus suffered on the cross longer and harder that I did today and Kelly-Anne suffered physically and emotionally in a way that I will never know, so I said let me go to the fear and live it...it was the least I could do.

Concordia keeps the Kelly-Anne Cup

2010-09-10T11:36:00.002-04:00

Again this year the Concordia Women's Rugby team won the Kelly-Anne Cup. The late game goal allowed the Stingers 3 points bring ending the game at 3-0.

Also I am pleased to announce that the generosity was abundant towards the donations collected for Women Aware. Over $1,500.00 was raised to help this wonderful organization in their work against domestic violence.

Another wonderful tribute to Kelly-Anne in keeping her memory alive!

The Kelly-Anne Cup

2010-09-03T08:31:00.002-04:00

Concordia Women`s Rugby will host again this year the Kelly-Anne Cup on Wednesday, September 8th at 8:30 p.m. at the Loyola Campus Field on Shebrooke St.west here in Montreal. The entry fee is $5.00 and the proceeds from raffle tickets sold will be donated to Women Aware at non - profit organization helping victims of domestic violence.

Last year Concordia won the cup for the very first time, so I am hoping that they will continue their winning streak.

Kelly-Anne played rugby at Concordia during the time she was studying Communications there. Her memory lives on!

Hope you can attend the event.

Laugh out Loud

2010-08-15T19:36:00.003-04:00

One thing that our family enjoyed with Kelly-Anne was laughter. She always had a way to make us laugh. Even as a little girl she would bring so many smiles to our faces or do silly things that would make us laugh until we cried. Her sense of humor through writing was hilarious. I was thinking today of the camp letters she and her sister would write us while away at summer camp.I recently re - read them probably for the 100th time.

Humor and laughter has always been a focal point in my relationship with my husband Jules. When Kelly-Anne passed away so did our teasing, silliness and laughter. Our home became a place of silence, depression and despair. We lived in our disbelief and pain for a few years. Then one day something funny was said and both Jules and I laughed. It was a strange feeling.....something that was forgotten and had to be re learned again.

Not a week goes without Jules saying something that makes me laugh until I cry. He has this habit of saying something funny at supper time...no it's not about my cooking. We could be watching TLC and something from a show will trigger him to say something funny. He really should of been a stand up comic. Looks are deceiving as he always give the impression to others that he is shy and reserved. But I know better.

I can honestly say now that the humor and laughter in my life is a good thing. I have come to terms that I am allowed to laugh again and be silly. I no longer feel guilty about living life. It's a hard thing to do, but I remind myself daily that Kelly-Anne would expect me to laugh and be silly just like her.

Broken Families

2010-08-11T08:11:00.002-04:00

Yesterday's announcement of a 14 year old Cote St-Luc girl being murdered by her 18 year old brother leaves me with another hallow pit. It is so sad that these tragedies happen amongst siblings. It becomes a double mourning for the parents as now they have lost two children. We have heard of sibling murderers in the past...may I remind you of Karla Homolka actively participating ( and didn't do a thing to prevent or stop it) in the murder of her sister.

I know what it is like to be a parent of a child murdered. I know the pain, the hurt, the grief but I cannot tell you what it would feel like to know that my other child had committed the crime. I can only imagine that there is alot of disbelief, anger and denial.

In the case in Cote St-Luc, the family also had another daughter. She instantly has now lost her sister and brother. I grieve for her more than another one else.

Becoming an only child has to be the biggest adjustment ever in one's life. I can only commend my daughter Kim in her daily strife to live her life without her sister. Here is a poem which Kim posted on Facebook that I would like to share with you.

Sister.....

We grow as the years pass
Timeless we seem like an hour glass
Dreams, thoughts, and fears
Give us the strength with very little tears
Close at heart
We remain
Even if we may seem far apart
You don't judge me nor do I judge you
Everything you did or still do
I'm glad to have a sister
A sister just like you
I love you

Water Safety

2010-07-21T20:37:00.002-04:00

The summer is not even half way over and here in Quebec we have heard of many drownings of both children and adults. It pains me to hear a story especially when a child drowns in a pool or a lake or even in a bathtub. Yesterday, a one year old baby was left in a bathtub with a two year old sibling. The father ran to the kitchen and was away from the children for about three minutes and when he returned, the one year old had drowned. So so tragic and sad. The courts are thinking of charging the father with criminal negligence. We don't know the whole story yet, but what we do know is that a child should never be left unattended in water at any time.

Water safety is not just about knowing how to swim but there has to be a clear understanding to children and adults about the perils of the water. Whether it is kayaking in a river where the currents are difficult or a back yard pool which would not be manned by a trained lifeguard, the risks for danger and accidents is always there.

I think back to the days when Kelly-Anne would teach water safety. I remember her little picture cards that she had laminated. She would have group discussions on the deck of the pool with her students teaching them about water safety. It is not enough to know how to swim and for Kelly-Anne, she understood the entire picture and knew that the need was there to complete her teachings about the water. I remember seeing her drawings of sailboats, life jackets and diving boards. I happened to be at the pool one day and there she was was with her little group of young swimmers. They sat around her listening attentively as Kelly-Anne spoke to them. She was so good at it and one could see how the children adored being with her.

This recent bathtub drowning is a reminder to all parents to always be vigilant with their children. I see no point in charging this father...he has now paid the price and a jail sentence would not even compare to the loss of his baby and the life sentence he now must endure.

Each day I am at the pool and even though I do not have young children with me, I have a tendancy to be mindful of the young ones in and around the pool. It's like a reflex and I feel we all have to be alert as accidents happen so quickly.

Remembering Mom

2010-06-23T20:00:00.002-04:00

Today,we remember my mother who passed away in 1993. I know I have already written about my Mom back in 2008. I was then touched how Kim responded to my entry.

It is strange how I have been thinking of my mother alot these days and often reminisce with Jules about her and her habits. Funny, now that I have been off work for just about a month, I have noticed myself repeating some of the routines and habits from my Mom.

Jules comes home from work with the newspaper under his arm...funny my dad would do the same and once he arrived home, my Mom would take the paper, make herself comfortable in her favorite chair and read a bit before supper was to be put on the table. Well, I notice that I am doing the same thing when Jules arrives home.

Mom use to knit and crochet. I never could get the hang of it, but last summer I started to learn how to knit and have made quite a few washcloths for the kitchen. Funny how I now get comfortable in the evening and knit,just like Mom did.

Last spring I decided to go through old family pictures and frame some of them to place on my mother's piano in our living room. One in particular is of my Mom when she was 16 years old. I can't get over how in that picture she and Kelly-Anne looked so much alike.

I find also that I am cooking differently these days...more salads are on the table. Mom always had a salad prepared as part of the supper meal.

When I think about how energetic she was when the girls were small, I can only hope that I will have the same energy when I become a grandmother. It was nothing for her to be playing on the floor with them and never grow bored or tired.

Rest in peace Mom. I know you, Dad and Kell are together.

Pardons

2010-06-16T21:06:00.003-04:00

As the weeks approach for the eligibility for Karla Homolka to apply for a pardon, the federal government has worked to pass a bill through the house which will not allow Homolka to make the request.

Firstly, why she was even allowed out of prison is beyond me. Oh yes...plea bargaining: that is what is is called. She ratted on her ex husband Bernardo so the courts went a little easier on her. Did they forget that she played an important role in the rapes and murders of the two Ontario girls along with the murder of her sister? Her sister.......I still can't get over that.

As far as I am concerned, there should be no pardons for any criminals especially when innocent lives are sniffed out.

In Webster's dictionary the definition of a pardon is as follows:

1. the excusing of an offense without exacting a penalty
2. a release from the legal penalties of an offense
3. excuse or forgiveness for a fault,offense or discourtesy.

Does Homolka or Morin- Cousineau fall into any of these definitions? A pardon given to a murderer in my opinion would say, oh well, we know you didn't mean it...try and be good from now on.

Sorry...no pardons for no criminals....do the crime, do the time and let's make sure it is for a long, long time.

Honour Killings

2010-06-14T11:01:00.006-04:00

I was very disturbed to hear this weekend that a mother in Dorval stabbed her 19 year old daughter. Charges has been laid against the mother. The family is originally from Afghanistan and have other children. The husband and three other daughters where at home at the time of the stabbing.

It appears that the 19 year old was out all night. Isn't that typical to what many of that age do.....hang out with friends. For most it is just innocent fun and for those who come from another country, in my opinion is it about integrating into our culture....movies, jeans, friends from different nationalities and cultures, different kinds of food, parties and most of all acceptance. This case sounds so similar to the murder of the St.Leonard girls in Kingston last summer. Mercy killings because the girls were becoming too "Canadian".

My question is why do people from other countries immigrate to Canada? How do they think their children will integrate into the new culture? It's one thing to keep your religion and practice it, but parents need to understand that children will be exposed to a new way of life and will want to be accepted with their new friends and yes girls especially will want to dress in the latest fashions and give up a conservative look. Families immigrate to Canada because they want a better life, they want a future for their children...well there is a price to pay for it and that means accepting that the children will want to be
" Canadianized". And for that ...we do not kill or attempt to kill our children because they want to fit in.

I would much prefer that families of origins who do not want to integrate into our society, please stay in your own country and spare the thought of killing your children. They are allowed a life no matter where they live.

Toussaint's body found in manhole as arrest is made in case

2010-05-22T19:04:00.002-04:00

Toussaint's body found in manhole as arrest is made in case

Here is a story from today's Montreal Gazette about 23 year old Cinthia Toussaint, mother of a three year old boy who's body was found after disappearing from her from her home this week. Another family shattered, and another women murdered. The main suspect is the ex boyfriend, but no charges have been layed. This family's life will forever change and the little boy being so young will never remember his mother.

Each time I read a story like this, memories return to me instantly of our family's horror of October 3rd 2004. Today I regress back into my shell. Even though I do not know Cinthia or her family, I mourn today with them.

I hope the suspect, if charged and found guilty, rots in hell. I wish Cinthia's family courage and faith to face the future.

Missy Higgins Music Video Staring Kelly-Anne

2010-04-29T20:59:00.003-04:00

Here is a music video. Many thanks to Martin and Caroline for their efforts in producing this.

http://missyvideo.warnerbrosrecords.com/videos/156

And The Best Is Yet To Come !

2010-04-24T15:46:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I learnt that my position in the law firm where I have been working for the past eight months will be abolished shortly. That means I will be out of a job...or should I just say
" in between jobs ". It was sad to hear this but I was told that the layoff had nothing to do with me and that the firm was very satisfied with my work .

I reflected alot last evening about the past months and all I can say is that I was very fortunate to have this experience which allowed me to learn more about my field and to work with amazing lawyers and administrative staff. I also learnt about myself that I am very capable of integrating into new positions, adapting to new people and facing new challenges. That was my fear back in February 2009 when I lost my position at HBC after 28 years of service. At that time , I didn't know how I would be accepted elsewhere nor how I would adapt. It's the fear of the unknown....just like when Kelly-Anne was murdered. The fear of the unknown as to how I was going to live my life without her scared the hell out of me.

I learnt then that moving forward is a daily thing...baby steps and that it is ok to be afraid and to cry. Going to the fear is the only way to overcome fear....remember, I said once that I work on the 45 th floor of a building. Did I ever tell you that I always was afraid of elevators? I told myself 8 months ago that I was not going to let the elevator situation stop me from reaching my goals therefore it became a non issue.

I now face a new challenge and I really don't know what it will be, but I will let the cards drop as they should and go with flow. I am now more educated in my field of Health & Safety, have the confidence and ability to strive to be the best that I can be...so the best is yet to come!

New Sexual Assult Help LIne

2010-04-16T21:22:00.002-04:00

The Quebec government announced today the new sexual assault help line available immediately to all Quebecers.

It is a 24/7 free bilingual service.

The phone number is for Montreal 514-933-9007.

Outside of Montreal is a toll free number 1-888-933-9007.

Domestic Abuse - The Forgotten Ones - Part 2

2010-04-09T20:35:00.004-04:00

We take for granted that there are many women who suffer from mental or physical handicaps who are also victims of domestic abuse. These women suffer in a silence that is very unfamiliar to most of us.

It is very easy for a partner to convince the authorities that his wife is just exaggerating or she is not well and makes up stories. A women who has a speech impediment may not be able to articulate to someone what is really happening in her home. The spouses are in complete control of their wives and they know it. So often the men will use their authority to the point of saying that they will put their spouses on the street.

For most, a women in a wheel chair cannot leave her home unassisted. There is a dependency on their husbands or boyfriends that is far greater than most. Many of these women do not work and have no income of their own. They depend on their spouses for every thing and the FEAR of leaving and being put on "the street" to live is every much the determining factor for these women.

As I have previously mentioned in another story, anyone can call 911 and not have to speak. A police car will come to the home where the call is made from.

There are in Montreal shelters for women who are in need of a refuge. I would thing that in most major centers these types of shelters exist. If you now someone who could possibly be a victim of abuse or needs help, check in your community to See if there are specif homes than can receive someone who is handicapped.

We can't forget them.

Domestic Abuse - The Forgotten Ones - Part 1

2010-04-08T21:31:00.004-04:00

I would like to reflect about two social groups who we often forget as possible victims of domestic abuse. The first one that I would like to share with you is about the immigrant women who come to our western society to start a new life.

For many of these women, they are sponsored by their husbands or boyfriends. Just imagine the scene. Here a women gets off a plane in a foreign country with her young children. Her new home and neighbourhood awaits her. She doesn't understand the language, the customs nor know her rights. She has little education and knows that she will have to face re- training in order to get a some what decent job, but for now she lives at home with her husband and is busy trying to get her children to adapt to the new school and their new life. The husband has a job and is out everyday working.

What we don't know is that the kind hearted, much respected at work husband, is an abuser. He does come home and when he is in a bad mood, he beats his wife and threatens her by saying that he will send her back to her country without the children if she doesn't do as he says.

This women is now living in FEAR just like western society women who are victims of domestic abuse. But for her, she believes her husband will send her back and keep the children with him. She cant' speak out language, she can't communicate very well with her neighbours, she doesn't
understand what 911 means or is feeling insecure about what the police represent to her in our society. In her country she was always fearful of authority as the police roamed the streets with machine guns.

What this women does not know is that our laws in Quebec ( and I hope elsewhere in North America) will not allow an immigrant women who is a victim of domestic abuse to be deported back to her country. If anything they will be given the support and the aggressor will be dealt with. We have seen much too often women being murdered who have not been in our country for very long. Only two years ago, an immigrant women who had a young baby was found dead in her apartment on Christmas day. The suspect still at large was her husband.

If you know an immigrant women, don't be shy to befriend her and let her know that she has as much rights as any North American women. Give her some useful information as to who she could contact if she needed help. In most communities there are organizations of different faiths and nationalities that could be a support to a new immigrant.

Many women who come from countries where their culture teaches them to be submissive to their husbands does not work in our country. Yes, there are submissive women by choice, not by culture and it is this that these women need to understand that here we do not have to accept abuse in any language.

Here is a link to information booklets available through the Department of Justice Canada government that are in many languages. They are free of charge and you can download them. There is also other useful information on this site. Knowing that this information is available to us may just be what we need to help a women who feels alone and isolated in her new country.

It just may save her life.

http://www.settlement.org/

Chef Jamie Oliver

2010-04-03T10:04:00.004-04:00

Last evening I relaxed in front of the t.v. watching new show on ABC with Jamie Oliver. His mission was to convince and make changes into a community in the USA withing the school board system. His was to bring about a new way of introducing healthier foods in the school's cafeterias. It wasn't about just changing menus and convincing children that there is more to life than burgers and fries, it was about getting a buy in from the first line workers, the food service management and the school commissioners.

Jamie was able to create a crew of six high school students who decided to embark with him for each of their own person reasons. Jamie was able to empower , nurture and support each of his crew as they prepared a beautiful dinner for 80 people from the community. Each team member spoke in front of the guests as to why a project of this type was important for them personally and how it would impact the community.

My whole point in sharing this show with you is that it made me think that if there were more people like Jamie Oliver who would give their time to embark on these types of projects with the school systems we would most probably have students leaving high school with a better direction in their life. We tend to see children slip through the cracks of our system as many are not supported with help and guidance and often are left on the streets getting into trouble.

Empowering children and young adults is probably the biggest gift one can give. They need to know that they have talents and are capable of obtaining their goals with perseverance and dedication. Cooking is a creative, individual art and anyone can do it. It 's a career of giving and loving and of personal satisfaction.

Imagine convincing students to eat healthier. With the high obesity rate amongst the youth, only programs like this will educate not just the children, but also their families.

I can only remember the many times that Kelly-Anne would prepare a meal and see the personal satisfaction it gave to her as we enjoyed very bite.

Hopefully Jamie's efforts will be life lasting and impact many other communities.

Kudos to Jamie Oliver !

Easter Egg Hunts

2010-03-30T20:01:00.002-04:00

This evening, while watching a little t.v. there was a commercial advertising Easter egg chocolates. The scene was a bright sunny afternoon, probably somewhere in the mid -southern states where children were running around in a green space with their baskets hunting for eggs. Jules piped up and said to me " Do you remember when we use to have Easter egg hunts for the girls?" That question struck a cord as those memories of Jules hiding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday brought back a few chuckles and tears.

Jules, being great at hiding things and very crafty at finding unusual areas where no one would ever think of looking...like inside a toilet paper roll while being in the holder would have as much fun as the girls. They would never find all the eggs and months later we would find a couple either melted down or stuck to something.

Easter egg hunts did not just start when Jules came into our lives 11 years ago. When the girls were little we always had hunts. One particular year, we went to Beaver Lake as there was a hunt being put on by the city. I remember that the weather was not exactly dry and warm so Kelly-Anne and Kim wore there rubber boots and ran around an area of the mountain looking for eggs. They really didn't find much of any at all but had a good time participating in the hunt.

One of the special hunts were would have was the golden egg hunt. I would manage to find eggs wrapped in gold paper and buy a couple and place they in strategic areas. Usually we made sure that both girls would find a golden egg.

Many years ago, my best friend Joyce bought the girl's stuffed bunnies. Kelly-Anne named hers Dave and Kim named hers Molly. Kim still has Molly on her bed and would bring her over when she would sleep over. Dave is somewhere at their father's house and I have asked Kim to find him so I can give him a hug.

My story this evening may sound" korky" to some, but for me it brings back those special, sweet childhood memories of too much chocolate and lots of excitement.

This Sunday, Kim Jules & I will have our own little Easter. The Easter egg will not happen....as Jules says we will wait until Kim has her own little ones running around.

Happy Passover and Easter to all!

Quebec launches sex-assault awareness campaign

2010-03-22T21:40:00.001-04:00

Here is an important story for anyone who is a victim of sexual assault or suspects that they know someone who is. Click on the link below for the story. In the article, you will see another link to the government website on this subject.

Remember, sexual assault is a crime.

If you are in a situation where you are being hurt or someone is being abused and you are afraid to speak to the police if the perpetrator is in the house, you can dial 911, and not have to speak. Just leave your line open. If you are calling from your home phone the dispatcher will be able to identify your address and send the police to your home.

This will not work if you are using a cell phone. It is always a good idea to have a few phones in different rooms in your home, not only for this reason, but even for possible break ins or other family emergencies.

Quebec launches sex-assault awareness campaign

Photos from Celebrating the Spirit of Kelly-Anne

2010-03-21T21:10:00.002-04:00

Here are more photos of the fundriaser at McKibbons. Thanks to Rene for sending them to me.

http://r3nz.com/mckibbins/

Celebrating the spirit of Kelly-Anne

2010-03-21T11:38:00.008-04:00

On Saturday, March 20th , the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club hosted the annual fundraiser "Celebrating the Spirit of Kelly-Anne, Take 111"Mickibbon's West Island was standing room only as Montreal entertainers volunteered their time for this great cause. We laughed ,drank, munched on a lovely buffet prepared by McKibbon's, chatted with friends and cried. This was truly an event that Kelly-Anne would of enjoyed and I know that she would approve of such a fundraiser in her name. The funds are to support the rugby club junior and elite teams. I have said in prior posts regarding this event, and I will say it again that I am so touched how her friends from the team do their part to keep Kelly-Anne 's memory alive. That is true friendship and team spirit. The Montreal Barbs... a class act!

Relationships with the Police

2010-03-20T21:58:00.002-04:00

This past week in Montreal we witness the annual demonstration against police brutality. A mere 100 people showed up to voice their dissatisfaction with the police. It's not alot of people given the population of Montreal. My first thoughts were that this was such a waste of tax payers money and here is a bunch of people that have absolutely no clue as to what the police are all about. For some of the demonstrators, they were there because it was the thing to do. They never ever had any real interaction with the police.

I though back about my relationship with the police, mainly the major crimes department. Prior to Kelly-Anne's death, I never really had any interaction with the police. Dealing with major crimes from October 3rd 2004 on, was a very special experience.I said back then and I still maintain,that these investigators are gold medalists and that Kelly-Anne had the right people in place to be her voice.

This past October on the fifth anniversary of her death, I called major crimes and asked to speak to a police detective who worked on the case. I also met him at a function a couple of years later. When we spoke, I asked him if he remembered me. He responded by saying of course he did, but I am surprised that you remember me , he continued. I responded to him saying how could I not remember him. I though afterwards how could he think that I would of not remembered him. The relationships that are fostered between the family and the police are so close. That may seem odd to some, but in reality the police become family. They suddenly know everything about you and are sharing some of the most intimate things with you. Once you are involved with the police your life becomes an opened book.

I can remember daily telephone calls from the detective in charge after Kelly-Anne's death just calling to say hello to see how we were. I can remember his visit to our home. I can remember the telephone calls during the trial to tell me to take care of myself. The openness to be available to us at any given time was always offered.

The police department took us under their wing. We couldn't of gotten through everything without their support.

I would of loved to have been at that demonstration last week to tell these people my story.
These demonstrators never lived in my shoes, and probably never had my experience. All they see is the negative and cannot allow themselves to see the police in any other way.

It's so sad to wear blinders.

Each time I hear of a murder in the city, I know our major crimes department is out there working earnestly to gather all the information and to find the person responsible for the crime. It's long hard work.

Kudos to our police force!

More Crimes

2010-03-09T20:11:00.004-05:00

This past week we heard that a 24 year old man was stabbed and killed by a 16 year old in the St. Henri district of Montreal. Many people said that it's a bad neighbourhood and were not surprised that such a crime happened.

I personally do not know the area but as far as I am concerned crimes happen everywhere. My bigger issue in all this is that again we see knives been used as the lethal weapon and that a 16 year old is the suspect.

A couple of years ago I did a CTV National interview regarding knives. Statistics shown then, that more murders were being committed with knives than with guns. Everyone has a knife in their home, but most people use them for it rightful purpose and not as a weapon. A knife registry is not the solution...the solution is getting 16 year old kids away from bars and involved in sports and community activities. A 16 year old should be at home in bed at 3:00 a.m. This is only my opinion and many may have other opinions, but I am a mom and I never had these issues with the girls at that age. I always knew where they were and who they were with. I can also remember staying up late and waiting for telephone calls from Kell & Kim to be picked up from a house party......but never at 3:00 a.m.

Another family will grieve and and other family will see their son go to jail and probably be sentenced as a adult. His life will be grim...but I ask who is to blame for this crime?

We also saw this week, which just set me fuming, the death of a three month old baby who was neglected from her parents. The young couple who spend their days and nights at a video arcade playing a game with a virtual baby. The media says that they were addicted...what the hell is going on ? The baby was fed once a day and she starved to death...no wait, I call it a slow and painful murder. I hope this couple never see the light of day again. I am angry, but remember this baby had no voice and no one to defend her.

I find it worrisome that we are not getting better at being parents. Babies are still having babies and parents are raising babies in dysfunctional homes and the end results are at times dreadful.

I hope this spring and summer brings less crime to our streets and less heartbreaking stories.
Families need to be more supportive of each other especially when new babies are being born into the families and parents need to be more assertive with 16 years olds.

What's your take on all of this?

Missed Opportunities

2010-03-03T20:24:00.002-05:00

This week while riding the train to work and home, I have been doing alot of thinking about the past. The train seems to spark something inside of me that allows me to reflect on life in general and Kelly-Anne. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have to be concerned with the traffic and driving. I have those 20 minutes just to rest and be worry free twice a day.

My thoughts yesterday morning were about the fact that there are certain things that I never go to do with Kelly-Anne and Kim together. One of them was to have professional pictures taken of just the three of us...you know the new fashionable photos of dressing alike...jeans and a white t-shirt look. It may sound so lame, but I missed that opportunity to do just that. I also missed the opportunity to take a trip ...just the three of us...a girl's weekend away.

The notion of traveling to Italy with Kelly-Anne a few weeks prior to her death was an idea I thought of doing...but I didn't. If I had known then what was going to happen later, I should of gone with her to Italy...but I didn't and I regret that now.

My point in all this is that we can't have any missed opportunities with the ones we love. Now, when Kim asks me to do something, it is very rare that I refuse. Even if she asked me to go to a movie on a cold winter's night during the week, I will go even if I am tired.

We can't allow ourselves to say no....we can always negotiate a better day or time...but the vent cannot be forgotten and put off until next year. It's about today as we do not have any control of the future and the past is never coming back.

The Olympics & Kelly-Anne

2010-02-24T19:37:00.003-05:00

We have been swamped with great competitions from the many young athletes representing countries from all over the world. It has been quite exciting to see what capacities, determination and athleticism that these competitors have. The Olympics also brought tears to my eyes. We have seen the sudden deaths of a luger and of Joannie Rochette's mom.

My tears during the opening ceremonies were also for Kelly-Anne. She loved the Olympics and was thrilled when women's waterpolo was finally accepted as an Olympic sport. I can remember the many Olympic games where Kelly-Anne would be glued to the television. I think it is every dream of an athletic to one day be an Olympian. For Kelly-Anne, one of her achievements was that of a gold medal for Canada in Wasago Beach, Ontario in 2003 in surf ski.

For me , Kelly-Anne is my Olympian.

No matter who wins or looses, the games are a wonderful reminder of what we are capable of achieving ; that our successes are within ourselves; that we can all be athletics in our own way. These young people have shown that being focused and courageous as Joannie showed us last evening is all within our reach.

I am aspired by these athletics, just as Kelly-Anne inspired me and continues to do so even in her death.

Loosing a Friend

2010-02-22T20:04:00.002-05:00

Today, I received word that an old friend of mine who lives in New Brunswick passed away in her sleep. The first thing that I thought of was the disbelief, how could that of happened. She was only 62 years old. I then said to myself that she is now with Kelly-Anne. I was angry at myself for not keeping up the communication in the past few years. We saw each other about 8 years ago when she visited family in Montreal for a few days. She did call me when Kelly-Anne died.

Eileen raised a wonderful family of girls. She loved her pets. I can remember a time when one of her cats was gong to have babies. We all sat around the cat and this is where the girls had their first lesson in childbirth! Kelly-Anne's first sleepover invitation was at her home as Kelly-Anne and Kim were great friends with Eileen's younger daughters.

I cried alot today but as I sit here and write I can only smile as I remember the fun times we had together...the birthday parties and the family suppers.

Friendships are priceless and life has a way of getting ahead of us and then it's just too late.

Rest in peace dear friend.

Reminder- Quebec Civil Code on Leases

2010-02-10T20:13:00.003-05:00

On April 1st 2006, the Quebec civil code 1974. 1 was brought into effect.Thanks to women's groups in Quebec such as WomenAware which worked so diligently to convince our government of the much needed change.

Many women in abusive relationships stay behind and endure the hardships because of the financial commitment they are burdened with because of leases, car loans, etc.

Let me just say that no matter what the financial implications are, they do not out weight the price of life.....and we all know that there is no price tag on life. I would rather see a women leave a relationship with debt, but be free within herself knowing that she is safe and can move forward.

Our civil code in Quebec allows a women to be released from her commitment in a lease if she is a victim or her children are victims of abuse. This law states that if a women is a victim, she must divulge this information to the authorities which is a step in the right direction...a step towards freedom.

I know that I have already written about this law before, but it's always good to be reminded as I just don't know who will be reading my blog!

Being a Mom

2010-02-01T22:28:00.002-05:00

Kim decided back in July of last year to move out with her and Kelly-Anne's childhood friend Monique and her baby Lilah. That made me very happy but of course brought back memories of Kelly-Anne being excited about moving into her first apartment. The situation was different, Kelly-Anne and Marty were moving in together and that brought about a stress that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Kim's move brought me bittersweet memories as I saw her unpack alot of Kelly-Anne's household possessions. I was happy that Kim agreed to use them in her apartment.

My worries about Kim are different that what they were about Kelly-Anne. Kim has been coming over on weekends and leaving with a big bag of home cooked meals. That really makes me happy. She tells me that my homemade soups are amazing. I don't want to sound like an enabler but knowing that Kim is eating well and is living in a clean, safe environment is important to me.

I would of loved to have cooked more for Kelly-Anne. I made her a pizza a couple of weeks before she left for Italy. I never knew if Kelly-Anne liked the pizza as there was no talk of it afterwards. I realize now that pizza was the last thing on Kelly-Anne's mind; she was suffering so much inside of herself.

I cherish the time that I have now with Kim, cooking and talking about adult stuff...what her wedding dress will look like, what names she likes for children, and of course discussing up bring and behavior of children. Now the next step is finding the perfect Mr. Right for her. How I would love to be the Mom in the movie..."Because I Said So".......do you think I could pull it off?

Haiti -The Aftermath

2010-02-01T19:33:00.003-05:00

The past few weeks all eyes have been on Haiti. The pain, the deaths, the suffering and the fellowship have all been deeply relayed through the media. We are fortunate here in Montreal to have Sue Montgomery writing for the Gazette. She spent two weeks living with the people in Haiti. Her bed consisted of a piece of cardboard which she slept on under the stars.

Before Christmas , Sue and I met up for lunch. It had been a long time that we had not seen each other, so it was good to catch up. I remember sitting in the resto munching on my goat cheese salad and listening to her talk about her traveling adventures. We parted after lunch and did not know then that the country of these already impoverished people would have to face four weeks later, as much as Sue did not know that she would be off to help the people of Haiti.

While Sue was in Haiti, memories of a conversation came back to me. Kelly-Anne must of been in high school and one day were were talking about her future. She said to me that she wanted to be a journalist reporting in countries around the world. Kelly-Anne did graduate from Concordia in Communications but did not get much opportunity to work in her field. She was never able to live her dream in a career which she was excited about. I remember thinking back then when Kell said she would welcome the opportunity to go to war torn countries to report. Sounds like nothing could put in fear in her, but it sure did in me. My first thought was no way...I am not going to loose my daughter because of any war. Reflecting about that today, Kell would have been safer in a war torn country or a country like Haiti than being in her own home.

I feel that if Kell had had the opportunity, she would have had Sue as a mentor. I see so much of the same traits in both them of them. Sue and Kelly-Anne have also taught me a little something, that being gung ho and a bit of an adventurist is a good thing. I have taught myself that fear is only an obstacle that cannot be allowed to control my life. It's a non- issue.

I have to go up 45 flights in an elevator each day to get to my office.....and I was always fearful of elevators. It's a choice...I wasn't about to let my fear get in the way of having a great job in a great company.

I know that Sue 's voice of the people will remain with them for ever. I only wish that Kelly-Anne would of had that opportunity to live out her dream.

Correctional Services of Canada

2010-01-15T20:45:00.002-05:00

Here is the link to obtain the pdf forms for parole board hearings. There is also information on the site regarding victim's of crime.

The processing time is not long, but I suggest that those dear to Kelly-Anne, complete and send it in to get processed and out of the way.

http://www.csc-scc.gc.ca

A Humbling Feeling

2010-01-15T20:15:00.004-05:00

Something happened in the early hours of this past morning. As Jules and I slept so very soundly, I was softly awaken by Maya our eldest cat. She was sitting between us and facing me. I awoke to her paw gently patting my arm. It is just a lovely, serene way to wake up.

Her soft demure ( and we all know how bad she can be at times !) and how I felt so protected, reminded me of Kelly-Anne's experience surfing in the Pacific with the dolphins surrounding her. She described that event in an email as being a humbling experience. Now, I better understand how Kelly-Anne felt that moment surfing the waves. Animals have a way of soothing the soul and making us feel good. Maya seems to understand my everyone mood. She has hovered over me when I have faced difficult days.

I wish I could wake up that way everyday. It's alot better that be awaken by the clock!

Talk is Cheap

2010-01-13T18:58:00.003-05:00

It has come to my attention again that more and more people are coming up with "Marty" stories. I cannot tell you the credibility of the stories as I do not know the people telling them. It hurts to know that this person who took Kelly-Anne's life had such a sorted past. All we can do from this is learn from it and look out for these types of characteristics in others who have have a violent pattern.

My suggestion to those who know of Marty's past, is to document what you know because one day we will be facing the parole board. Marty can apply for parole in less than 8 years now. Those that know him seems to agree that he will never change, therefore do you want him on our streets? Do you want your sister , daughter or friend at risk? This is by far not a publicity stunt...this is serious.

There are many Marty's and Kelly-Anne 's still on our streets...meaning ,many women are still be abused by men like Marty. These women have not come forward because they live in fear. How are we going to help them? If somehow had come forward before Kelly-Anne met Marty to do something about him, maybe Kell would be alive today and this blog would not exist...but the women who dated Marty were fearful and thus dropped the charges. That must of made Marty feel that he was untouchable and gave him more power to be violent.

Talk is cheap but action speak louder than words. For those who feel as bad as I do about loosing my wonderful daughter, please contact me if you want to join forces to keep Marty in jail. Petitions, lobbying to the government, media interaction are all important tools that have to be dealt with at the time of the parole hearing.

Step up to the plate people....this is not a witch hunt...this is about doing the right thing for Kelly-Anne and all women who have died at the hands of violent men. many crimes especially murder are committed by men on parole. Why, because they conned the parole board in letting them out on the premise that they were good boys inside , went to chapel, were born again and have said that they are sorry for their bad deeds.

So who will help me?

Time Heals

2010-01-08T19:35:00.004-05:00

I having been thinking alot lately about myself , the family, friends and of course Kelly-Anne. But life for some strange reason seems to be different recently. It is like life is changing again. I have always maintained that after a life changing event such as loosing a loved one from a murder, the ones who have been left behind lives's forever changes. For life is not better nor worse than before Kelly-Anne was murdered, but just different. Her death has not made me an angry hostile person...because really it is not the world, nor God that I should be angry with. There is only one person responsible for her death. His peers judged him and is now locked up. The day will come that God will judge him just like God will judge all of us.

The forgivness issue at times creeps up in my brain...but I have come to the conclusion that the only person that can forgive Kelly-Anne's murderer is Kelly-Anne. Can that possibly happen? I can't answer that.

Kelly-Anne's death, with all it's horror, sadness and devastation brought me to meet in the past five years some wonderful people. People who have stood by me through it all and strangely enough relationships that became bonded through the circumstances of life. In reality, we are more alike than unlike ( my famous words). I think it is the people around me than allowed me to heal and lessen the pain. Sure, there are still difficult days but I am still able to turn my face towards the sun and say thank you for my life and the people around me.

This week a friend called to touch base and say hi. We talked and I felt so good speaking to him. Life has taken on a new dimension for him. After getting off the phone, I reflected about our conversation. Now he faces change and adaption just like I did last February when I found out that my job was abolished. Those sudden changes helped mold my life into what is it now and it is the sudden events that change our lives that help us to be stronger and wiser people. Life is not to be taken for granted and the friendships we have are not to be tainted. They should be supportive and nurturing.

Loosing a job is hard especially when you love your job and knew you were making a difference, but I have discovered the past three months that I can make a difference no matter where I work or what type of work I do. I feel so much better within my self that I am somewhere else in my career......even after all the years I spent in my last company. My confidence has come back to an all time high. I know that Kelly-Anne is proud of me and wants me to help others as they face change and difficulties. We all have the power and capacity to take charge of our lives and to challenge ourselves to overcome judgement and pain.

My friend, you know who you are...turn your face towards the sun and be proud.

Happy New Year

2010-01-07T20:37:00.003-05:00

I can't believe how time is passing us to quickly. It has been a month since I last posted.

Christmas was special as Kim hosted the dinner at her apartment. The table was set beautifully and the tree and decorations gave such a splendor to the occasion. Kim in her own special ways remembered Kelly-Anne by pinning up Kell's old Christmas stocking. I loved seeing it on displayed and felt again that Kell was nearby watching over us.

Kim cooked a wonderful meal. As I write this, I am chuckling to myself about the girls and their cooking expertise. I always felt that if one of the girls was to be the more inclined that the other to cook it would be Kell. I have already recounted to you stories of Kelly-Anne's cooking experiences, but I must say Kim really impressed me. Her chestnut stuffing was incredible! As you also know, Kim is a wonderful pie dough maker. Even with her busy schedule she found the time to make my meat pie crust.

Having not to cook for Christmas allowed me to reflect more on Christmases past. Now as the years go by, Kim is stating to take over the reigns. She did remark that the next time she cooks Christmas dinner, she better have a husband and a dishwasher. I neglected to ask her if the dishwasher would be the husband.

Jules and I did our regular thing for New Year's Eve... dinner at our favorite Italian resto , then a bottle of sparking wine while we and probably many others watched the ball drop in New York.

It seem that the hardest part was to stay await between 11:30 p.m. and 12:00.

My New Year's resolutions have been put in place...and I don't intend to break them. The list is short but straightforward : diet, exercise, lend an ear to a friend, and be happy.

Enjoy your year!

December 6th 2009

2009-12-19T20:26:00.002-05:00

This past December 6th brought us back 20 years ago when the 14 young women from Ecole Polytechniec in Montreal were murdered. I had the opportunity to do a radio interview on CBC and was asked about Kelly-Anne and how I was feeling now that 20 years have gone by.

I responded that what really hit home for me was the fact that within these past years, these 14 young women would have most probably been busy in their careers , had children and would of been in the prime of their lives.

How will I feel when we mark the 20th anniversary for Kelly-Anne, I ask myself. Most probably the same way. We will never know what she would of become and what contributions she would of made to society, how many children she would of had and how she would of cared for her familyand touched the lives of others around her. It is still really hard to believe that she is gone. I tell myself that Kelly-Anne is away on a trip surfing the oceans. Though I do not see her, I am able to feel her. Kelly-Anne is so nearby in spirit. So many things have happened in the past five years that I am 100 % sure she had her hand on certain events.

I do not know how the families of the 14 young women have managed to get thorough the last 20 years, but I thoughts are with them. We are the chosen few. We have our our clique and have a cross to bear each day of our lives. Are we stronger than other people...I don't know, but the event of polytechnic and that of Kelly-Anne's murder had made us all stronger and wiser.

Remembering Kelly-Anne Part 2

2009-12-19T20:03:00.002-05:00

Tonight I realize that the time has sped by so quickly that I have not had a chance to write about the fundraiser in honor of Kelly-Anne.

I was delighted to see over 100 people attend the event this year. Being the 100th anniversary of the Lifesaving Society brought some of the old timer lifeguards to the event. It was nice to see them attend and hear some of the stories they reminisced about.

Awards were given out to the present lifeguards for the competitions which they participated in this year. It was nice to spend time with Kelly-Anne's co -partners and to hear the honorary president Eddie Beaucage recount some sweet stories of this relationship with Kelly-Anne.

Eddie spoke about how inquisitive Kelly-Anne was. It seemed that they did alot of commuting together and Kelly-Anne would ask him many questions about hockey. She did have a keen interest in the sport and she did learn to skate as a young child but it was never really her forte. I chucked as he spoke about the many questions that she would asked as I realize that Kelly-Anne got that gene from me as I have a habit of asking alot of questions. Well if you don't ask, you will never know...that is my motto.

Kelly-Anne did decide one day to participate in a women's hockey game at Concordia. She asked me to attend which I did. It was quite something to see her all decked out in the equipment. She was on the ice and tried her best to skate and handle the stick...well as I said at the fundraiser, Kelly-Anne was better in the water than on top of frozen water. That hockey game still makes me laugh as she was so funny trying to play. Kelly-Anne was a good sport and that is what counted.

The event brought in over $ 6,000.00 which will help the competitors with the world competition next year in Egypt. Kelly-Anne still remains very close to the hearts of her friends at the Society and continues to be an example for the young lifeguards. She is forever in our hearts.

Remembering Kelly-Anne: Part 1

2009-11-29T08:13:00.004-05:00

Kelly-Anne's beautiful birthday cake made lovingly from

La Conca d'Oro

Boulanger Pâtisserie Charcuterie

2549, Jean-Talon east

Montreal, Quebec

514-728-2756

I walked into this established Montreal family bakery for the first time yesterday and very quickly felt the warmth of community and love. They graciously prepared this cake which had a mocha coffee filling and Kelly-Anne 's smile embossed in the centre. Seeing the cake and not knowing what they had did, resulted in a melt down right there in the shop. The other pastries that they provided for the evening were outstanding and so delicately made and the pizza was the way I like it. I don't usually plug in businesses on my blog , but not speaking about La Conca d'Oro would be unfair as they were very much a part of last night's success. Give yourself a break this Christmas and let them do your baking. This bakery is in the heart of the ethic community and have wonderful Italian products.

Blessings in Disguise

2009-11-23T20:45:00.004-05:00

I learnt last week that the distribution centre where I worked and was laid off from will close its doors his coming February. Actually, it will close exactly one year to the date of when I was let go. Now, 150 people including the managers that gave me the news that my job was abolished will be out of a job. Sadly there are many couples that work in that building which means that both will be out of work. When I heard the news I was not at all surprised as the writing was on the wall for the past few years. I thought how interesting that I was spared from this ordeal of a closure.

This past February I was saddened of course to loose my job, but my rough patch is now over. I know exactly how these workers are feeling and they will have to face allot in the upcoming new year.

Why was I spared the stress of having to go thought his with everyone else? I feel that I was one of the chosen few.......that maybe God chose me to leave first and make my way on my own....and yes on my own. These employees leaving in February will receive support and help. I got practically zilch from the company with exception of two half days with a firm who helped make a worthless c.v. Maybe it's the strong ones that are forced to go on their own and make their own way. At least this Christmas will not be dismal for me as it will be for those who know that they face the new year without employment.

God never told us that life would be easy. Many have crosses to bear and I surely carry mine every day of my life. Learning to adapt and take control of difficult situations such as job losses is not an easy thing to do...it's a matter of survival and at the end of the day we are all on our own, finding our own way.

I thank God and Kelly-Anne that now two months into my job, I am happy learning new things in a positive environment with wonderful people surrounding me. I can leave the past behind and move forward as today would have been my completion of 28 years of service. I am smiling today as I have a sense of peace in my heart as today is the first day of my new life. As Kelly-Anne once said " just put one foot in front of the other and walk", and that is what I have been doing each day for the past two months, on my new life's journey.

Let's Talk About Conjugal Violence

2009-11-22T20:39:00.004-05:00

Today, the Quebec government announced it's campaign to promote the responsibility of all Quebecers to a stand against conjugal violence. The statistics are still much too high in Quebec. There is an article in today's Gazette entitled "Quebec Enlists Public to Combat Conjugal Violence".

www.montrealgazette.com

Also, here is the link the the government's website. This is just not an issue that relates to Quebec only. Conjugal violence exists in every province, state and country.

www.violenceconjugale.gouv.qc.ca

The website offers advice to people who may know of someone who is a victim of abuse. They have even included information about creating a rescue plan.

Because of recent hard economic times where many people have lost jobs, it is so easy for couples to argue and at as what we have read in the media there have been some terrible life ending consequences for some families. We all have to be vigilant and take the time to be aware of what is going on in our communities. If you know a family that is going through hard times, take the time to talk to them. You don't have to be a psychologist to listen to people and if you see things that are not right, speak to someone that could help the family. You may be saving lives.