Spring 2022... Already

 As I look over the lake across from our digs I see the signs of spring. The trees are blooming and the sound of birds chirping away gives me an inner peace that new life surrounds us. As the years go by I realize that I am more of a summer  person than a winter one. I spent this past fall and winter doing physio and getting back in shape. Now I feel amazing and am excited to soon start aqua fit classes at the outdoor community pool.  

However the subject of domestic abuse still and will probably always linger in my mind. Quebec has adopted ankle monitoring bracelets that an abuser will wear once released from prison. He will be tracked to assure that he does not  go near his victim. It's another step  to help protect  women and children who have lived this nightmare of abuse.

We still need to be doing more. I feel we need to educate women of all ages about finding love on the internet. Recently, a Canadian women met up with a British man on line. She flies over to be with him and after a few visits he murders her. 

We have a system here in Quebec when we are able to  know if someone has a prior criminal record. We have the technology but we do not have the access to connect to different  parts of the world to verify the  background of someone. So how can we give women the tools to protect themselves when meeting men on line. It's a topic for discussion that I hope to pursue with women's groups.

This summer I look forward in participating  with the Concordia University Shuffle. It 's a 7 kilometer walk to raise money for the different groups associated with Concordia. I will walk on behalf of the Women's Rugby Team raising money for the Kelly-Anne Drummond Scholarship. I'll post more details  later.

Meanwhile get out there and enjoy the sun and warmer weather ! 

Kangaroo House

There was an interesting article in this past Thursday's Montreal Gazette about a safe house project being put in place here in Montreal. This home would be available to children of families in distress. I am mentioning this as a follow up to the continuing coverage of the Turcotte trial. Sadly for many, Guy Turcotte was found not guilty of taking the lives of his two children. I did mention in my last entry that there has to be some sort of system available to families and children who are going through stressful times. There is still not a location but people are working on the plan.Presently the organization is looking for non-profit status from the government. It will take six months before the project is in place with a team of care workers. If you or anyone you know is going through a separation or divorce where children are involved, sending the children to temporary accommodations from parents who are in crisis is not a bad idea. It is not the solution but if it means that the children are protected while the parents get their own needed help, this house can hopefully protect children from the same fate as the Turcotte children. The coordinates for The Kangaroo House are 514-524-4141 or visit thekangaroohouse.org Another resource for parents is the Ligne Parents hotline at 1-800-361-5085 We all have to work together to prevent such sad and tragic events happening.Please pass on this information to anyone who might need it. Also supporting the project is something we can all do by contacting the organization to see what they might need in the way of furniture or financial contributions. Every little bit can help. As for other parts of the North America and abroad, please contact you offices of social services in your area to see if such programs exist. I do know that my blog reaches many countries. Thank you to all for taking the time to read My Daughter, Kelly-Anne.

Summer 2021

Finally we are rounding the corner of this pandemic which paralyzed the world. Thankfully my family and friends were not touched by Covid -19, but  so many people were, and for many, family and friends succumbed to death. Tragic. 

Throughout this pandemic we faced here in Quebec too many domestic abuse cases which resulted in many women losing their lives. Each one pained me. Could these deaths have been avoided?  I want to believe the  answer is yes, but but when  one is faced directly with abuse it can be very hard  to get out of the situation. These women lived in constant fear. I ask myself are we doing enough o help those who we feel are in abusive situations. The Quebec  government during this past winter  ran television ads about domestic abuse with  the resources available on the screen. How many women were reached through those ads? I hope many. I have said this before and will say it again, we must reach out to those we know who give us the  indication that things are just not right on the home front. 

Six weeks ago I experience first hand with a  two night, three day stay in one of our amazing Montreal hospitals the dedication of  those doctors and nurses who spent many months working as front line staff helping those with Covid. For me it was my long awaited hip replacement surgery...part one.... that brought me to the hospital. These doctors and nurses worked tireless taking care of me and  everyone else on  our floor. The operating room was filled with the best of the best...and I knew Kelly-Anne was nearby watching over me. I felt her presence, an inner peace as I lay on the operating table. Kelly-Anne's death showed me that I am strong, that I  have courage and can face whatever challenge is handed to me. So now I await to repeat this hospital adventure for my second hip.

I look forward as many do to resume  our normal lives. Seeing family and friends, going out for meals is something Jules and I are itching for. We will  have our second vaccine this Saturday and hopefully celebrate with an ice cap at Tim Horton's afterwards. It 's the  little things that  make us happy!

Have a great summer!

 

Where Did The Time Go....

Fast forward and here we are September 2020.  The last months have been a time of world challenges, health issues and a move.

I am now proud to say that I am a breast cancer survivor...yes I was faced with breast cancer surgery late last year. I faced my fear of surgery. I really didn't have a choice in the matter. It comes down to a life and death decision. and my decision was to  continue to live and be well.

Having found out that I was cancer free left me feeling naturally relieved, but there was a part of me that felt so sad as I walked out of my doctor 's office. There, in the waiting room, women sat with expressionless faces, not  knowing their fate. As we  know many women  suffer terribly from cancer and many loose their battle, That pains me and I am forever grateful to  have survived.

Downsizing to an amazing apartment was challenging especially during a pandemic. Gosh we collect so much unnecessary stuff...it was a great feeling to give away house hold  articles that I know will help others. Hubby said it was time for me to retire and  do the things that I want to do. At first  I wasn't all that keen to stay home but with COVID -19, I really didn't have a choice. However life at home brings me to my next chapter which includes writing  a children's book,  raising  funds for Kelly-Anne's Scholarship Fund at Concordia and continuing to  build awareness about  domestic abuse and  the needed changes to our justice system. So I think I have a lot of my plate. 

The leaves have changed their color and many are covering the green grass. I find it  pretty however there is a dull feeling in my stomach as we approach  October and the sixteenth anniversary of loosing Kelly-Anne. The memories of October 3rd, 4th and 5th are still so clear to me...it is actually unnerving. Will they ever fade? I think not. Maybe they should not fade as  these horrific days are  a clear reminder of  what we and  unfortunately other families who have gone through  the same situation feel.

This year the Kelly-Anne Cup will be different. There will be a competition between Concordia and University de Montréal Women's Rugby teams. They will run for the cup. But what will not change is that we will continue to raise funds  for Women Aware as we do each year at the  game.  Women Aware  help many women each year who are victims of domestic abuse.

Take a minute to read about them:    https://www.womenaware.ca/

If you feel moved to donate, please do so in memory of Kelly-Anne.

This past year, again we saw horrific stories of women being  murdered and children  been used as pawns who were kidnapped then  murderer. This has to stop.  Let's work together in the name of Kelly-Anne and all women who have been murdered to stop this abuse from happening. There is help. 

And the Angel Danced and Cheered

It has been a while since I have posted. Mainly because life seemed to have gotten away from me.  Busy was just the tip of the iceberg...unexpected surprises both good and bad knocked at my door.

For two, a wake up call....and the message was clear, time to take a step back and reflect on my crazy  busy life. It is time to make some hard decisions about my career, my responsibilities close to home and those elsewhere.

This past Sunday our angel Kelly-Anne danced and cheered as her Concordia Stingers Rugby team kept the Kelly-Anne Cup at home with an amazing win over McGill. I felt bad for McGill as I knew  that they put their heart and soul into that game....for Kelly-Anne.

In recent  months I have been working alongside Concordia University to develop a Scholarship in Kelly-Anne's name to honor a deserving female Rugby player. How wonderful it was to announce the recipient this past Sunday.

Today, fifteen years ago Kelly-Anne was attacked. Her death, left us in a tailspin of disbelief, unimaginable grief and pain. There are days when I still can't believe she is gone.

Kelly-Anne's passing has changed and shaped me into a very different women than I was before. The biggest change for me was learning that I am able to face other personal important challenges that are actually very manageable. I have also learned to not fear the unknown, as I really do not have any control and have to place my confidence in God and others that will come in my path. I have already faced the biggest challenge of my life and that obviously was Kelly-Anne's death.

This past spring I learned as many others did, that here in Canada women are being murdered by their partner one every two and a half days. These stats are  terrible. What are we going to do as a society to stop this violence against women? Do we need to invoke the death  penalty once again ? Would that make a difference? Questions I  do not have the answers for, but as a society we must reflect and talk about this.We must build a continued awareness within our schools, homes and the workplace.

Kell..I know you are dancing with your new found friend Junie Mitchell, a women that our community loved. May you  both share your stories and keep a watch on those you love here on earth.

Memory Eternal!

That Question ...Again

I wrote in July 2017, how Paige asked me why Aunt Kell died. I froze...I always said it will be her parents to tell her, not me or anyone else. Fast forward to last week and doesn't Paige ask her mother the same question. She wanted to know if  Kelly-Anne had been sick. Kim responded by saying no.  With all of Kim's grace and tact she handled the situation better than I could of. She simply said to Paige that she would tell her later on when she felt she would better understand.

Kim believes in the truth and that will be told to Paige. She will be told about the heinous crime that robbed her from her beloved aunt.

This story has been told I am sure over and over again to children left behind because of  homicides from domestic violence. These children will face life (with a lack of better words )with a richer understanding of respecting others and what it takes to build themselves into being non violent adults.

Kim does an amazing job as a mom, a school volunteer and in her teachings of first responder and bully awareness programs that she gives.

I ask myself when will it be the right time for Paige to understand our story. How will she take the story and eventually tell it to others in hopes of creating awareness within her own generation.

 I feel inspired by her now as she approaches her sixth  birthday. I have every confidence that Paige will make a difference in the world around her. This week we hung out....we laughed, we danced, and we had serious conversations about life, school, friends and her passion for space.

My hope and prayers are that her generation will be a kinder, more loving and respectful society. One that does not discriminate against women, religion, sexual orientation and color. These children are our future and  I believe it is up to good parenting and education that will guide them. Our social issues are not only North American  problems, they are world wide. I pray today for those in New Zealand who have faced  death because of their religion.

We can all do better, we can make a difference, young or old!

2018 A Redefining Year

It's December and here we are  just short of a week to Christmas. It has been quite a year. For the most part it is been a year of redefining who I am. 2018 was an interesting but  different kind of year. The best part  was the arrival of Sam and our trip to Cuba. Sam gave us quite a scare when he entered this world, but with the loving support of his family, the doctors and nurses, he is now one amazing little boy.

Earlier this year I took a course called Boundaries. It is Christian based. This course allowed me to better understand  how I could define  my own boundaries of what I wanted and my expectations from others. I redefined what was important to me...was it a high stressed job, a full time position with long days or was I going to work on my terms. Was I to reinvent myself at my age? Yes !

Luckily, I was able to take on a couple different contractual roles which kept me busy, but  lying  deep in my subconscious there was something aching that I wanted to do...how was it going to happen? I was told when it is the right time, it will  happen. I kept asking God and Kelly-Anne to send me a sign...what's going on...I  need direction. Finally, the sign came and I knew I was in the right place with the right boss! I stuck to my plan...a part time job in property administration.....four years as volunteer President of a condo syndicate paid off . The sign was obvious...I asked the person interviewing me what year the building was built. She responds with 1979....I sat there and heard a Kelly-Anne chuckle. It was the year that Kelly-Anne was born. I smiled and said to myself...thanks Kell. I felt that sudden peace and knew I had the job.

This year I was able to establish with Concordia University a scholarship in Kelly-Anne's name. This award will allow women to have the opportunity to study at Concordia while playing Rugby. It's exciting to be a part of this project.

I was also fortunate to has been invited to the McGill Faculty of Law to address graduating law students. I also continue to work on a project that I hope will lessen the suffering of the families of victims regarding parole hearings for homicide offenders.

I realized that nearing retirement age doesn't mean that I have to sit home and become a couch potato. It actually means I get to use all the stuff I learnt throughout my career and apply it in other areas where I can continue to make a different or use it to create change in our society.

I am excited for 2019.  It will be a year of change, learning and living. This year it will be about Kelly-Anne and her legacy, my life with our  family and friends. I am following in Kelly-Anne's footsteps... doing what she would be doing, smiling, laughing and loving.

As you share the reason for the season around the dining room table this Christmas, remember those that are less fortunate. Running into McDonald's on a Christmas Eve to pick up a meal to feed a homeless person was something spontaneous that  Kelly-Anne would do. An act of your kindness can make a difference.

Merry Christmas !