The Dust is Settling

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions...the tears have finally dried up, but the pain still hurts. I've had this pain in my chest...no I'm not having a heart attack...it like my heart is broken. Yesterday, I went swimming and starting crying while doing laps...I felt that my spirit had been ripped from my soul. How could someone do that to me? I repeatedly said to my self that nobody is going to take away my spirit.

Tons of c.v.'s has been emailed off to companies...the pain of knowing that I will never in my working career ever have six weeks of vacation time really hurts. The pain of knowing that I will never have the time off to do any public speaking...the company really has upset my life.

I went to the office today to pick up my personal effects. I told myself that I would not cry, do my quick in and out and not dwell on the lost of my office or workplace.

Today I also tried to draw the analogy to my lost and this is what I came up with.
1. Loosing a job is like a bad divorce, hard feelings, going to take your belongings and out the door you go, never returning.
2. Loosing a job is never ever saying again "I love my job"....because loving a job only hurts more when the time comes to leave.
3. Loosing a job tells us that the next job will be just that - a job that you work and honestly earn your keep, then detach the moment you walk out the door at the end of the day....it's like having a pillow pal, not being in a committed relationship.
4. Loosing a job reminds us again that everything in life is temporary , therefore the next job will also be temporary.
5. Loosing a job is having your routine broken, not seeing special coworkers who have become like family over the years.
6. Loosing a job is like a death....especially the sudden trauma of feeling like being a displaced person and loosing total control of your emotions in front of bosses who one can see have their own difficulties containing and expressing their own emotions. They are human too but don't have the training to deal with people like me.
7. Loosing a job brings together the solidarity of those employees who lost their jobs at the same time..now it's about helping and supporting each other.
8. Loosing a job allows those affected to explore who they are, to step back and get excited about the future. I started to feel that way today.
9. Loosing a job will bring new adventures, new people and experiences which we hope will be positive for all.
10. Loosing a job which we worked so well at, allows us to be proud of our accomplishments and know that all our skills will be transposed in a new company who will appreciate what we have to offer.

And at the end of the day, we will be the winners!