Friday, January 8, 2010

Time Heals

I having been thinking alot lately about myself , the family, friends and of course Kelly-Anne. But life for some strange reason seems to be different recently. It is like life is changing again. I have always maintained that after a life changing event such as loosing a loved one from a murder, the ones who have been left behind lives's forever changes. For life is not better nor worse than before Kelly-Anne was murdered, but just different. Her death has not made me an angry hostile person...because really it is not the world, nor God that I should be angry with. There is only one person responsible for her death. His peers judged him and is now locked up. The day will come that God will judge him just like God will judge all of us.

The forgivness issue at times creeps up in my brain...but I have come to the conclusion that the only person that can forgive Kelly-Anne's murderer is Kelly-Anne. Can that possibly happen? I can't answer that.

Kelly-Anne's death, with all it's horror, sadness and devastation brought me to meet in the past five years some wonderful people. People who have stood by me through it all and strangely enough relationships that became bonded through the circumstances of life. In reality, we are more alike than unlike ( my famous words). I think it is the people around me than allowed me to heal and lessen the pain. Sure, there are still difficult days but I am still able to turn my face towards the sun and say thank you for my life and the people around me.

This week a friend called to touch base and say hi. We talked and I felt so good speaking to him. Life has taken on a new dimension for him. After getting off the phone, I reflected about our conversation. Now he faces change and adaption just like I did last February when I found out that my job was abolished. Those sudden changes helped mold my life into what is it now and it is the sudden events that change our lives that help us to be stronger and wiser people. Life is not to be taken for granted and the friendships we have are not to be tainted. They should be supportive and nurturing.

Loosing a job is hard especially when you love your job and knew you were making a difference, but I have discovered the past three months that I can make a difference no matter where I work or what type of work I do. I feel so much better within my self that I am somewhere else in my career......even after all the years I spent in my last company. My confidence has come back to an all time high. I know that Kelly-Anne is proud of me and wants me to help others as they face change and difficulties. We all have the power and capacity to take charge of our lives and to challenge ourselves to overcome judgement and pain.

My friend, you know who you are...turn your face towards the sun and be proud.

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