Friday, January 15, 2010

Correctional Services of Canada

Here is the link to obtain the pdf forms for parole board hearings. There is also information on the site regarding victim's of crime.

The processing time is not long, but I suggest that those dear to Kelly-Anne, complete and send it in to get processed and out of the way.

A Humbling Feeling

Something happened in the early hours of this past morning. As Jules and I slept so very soundly, I was softly awaken by Maya our eldest cat. She was sitting between us and facing me. I awoke to her paw gently patting my arm. It is just a lovely, serene way to wake up.

Her soft demure ( and we all know how bad she can be at times !) and how I felt so protected, reminded me of Kelly-Anne's experience surfing in the Pacific with the dolphins surrounding her. She described that event in an email as being a humbling experience. Now, I better understand how Kelly-Anne felt that moment surfing the waves. Animals have a way of soothing the soul and making us feel good. Maya seems to understand my everyone mood. She has hovered over me when I have faced difficult days.
I wish I could wake up that way everyday. It's alot better that be awaken by the clock!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Talk is Cheap

It has come to my attention again that more and more people are coming up with "Marty" stories. I cannot tell you the credibility of the stories as I do not know the people telling them. It hurts to know that this person who took Kelly-Anne's life had such a sorted past. All we can do from this is learn from it and look out for these types of characteristics in others who have have a violent pattern.

My suggestion to those who know of Marty's past, is to document what you know because one day we will be facing the parole board. Marty can apply for parole in less than 8 years now. Those that know him seems to agree that he will never change, therefore do you want him on our streets? Do you want your sister , daughter or friend at risk? This is by far not a publicity stunt...this is serious.

There are many Marty's and Kelly-Anne 's still on our streets...meaning ,many women are still be abused by men like Marty. These women have not come forward because they live in fear. How are we going to help them? If somehow had come forward before Kelly-Anne met Marty to do something about him, maybe Kell would be alive today and this blog would not exist...but the women who dated Marty were fearful and thus dropped the charges. That must of made Marty feel that he was untouchable and gave him more power to be violent.

Talk is cheap but action speak louder than words. For those who feel as bad as I do about loosing my wonderful daughter, please contact me if you want to join forces to keep Marty in jail. Petitions, lobbying to the government, media interaction are all important tools that have to be dealt with at the time of the parole hearing.

Step up to the plate people....this is not a witch hunt...this is about doing the right thing for Kelly-Anne and all women who have died at the hands of violent men. many crimes especially murder are committed by men on parole. Why, because they conned the parole board in letting them out on the premise that they were good boys inside , went to chapel, were born again and have said that they are sorry for their bad deeds.

So who will help me?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Time Heals

I having been thinking alot lately about myself , the family, friends and of course Kelly-Anne. But life for some strange reason seems to be different recently. It is like life is changing again. I have always maintained that after a life changing event such as loosing a loved one from a murder, the ones who have been left behind lives's forever changes. For life is not better nor worse than before Kelly-Anne was murdered, but just different. Her death has not made me an angry hostile person...because really it is not the world, nor God that I should be angry with. There is only one person responsible for her death. His peers judged him and is now locked up. The day will come that God will judge him just like God will judge all of us.

The forgivness issue at times creeps up in my brain...but I have come to the conclusion that the only person that can forgive Kelly-Anne's murderer is Kelly-Anne. Can that possibly happen? I can't answer that.

Kelly-Anne's death, with all it's horror, sadness and devastation brought me to meet in the past five years some wonderful people. People who have stood by me through it all and strangely enough relationships that became bonded through the circumstances of life. In reality, we are more alike than unlike ( my famous words). I think it is the people around me than allowed me to heal and lessen the pain. Sure, there are still difficult days but I am still able to turn my face towards the sun and say thank you for my life and the people around me.

This week a friend called to touch base and say hi. We talked and I felt so good speaking to him. Life has taken on a new dimension for him. After getting off the phone, I reflected about our conversation. Now he faces change and adaption just like I did last February when I found out that my job was abolished. Those sudden changes helped mold my life into what is it now and it is the sudden events that change our lives that help us to be stronger and wiser people. Life is not to be taken for granted and the friendships we have are not to be tainted. They should be supportive and nurturing.

Loosing a job is hard especially when you love your job and knew you were making a difference, but I have discovered the past three months that I can make a difference no matter where I work or what type of work I do. I feel so much better within my self that I am somewhere else in my career......even after all the years I spent in my last company. My confidence has come back to an all time high. I know that Kelly-Anne is proud of me and wants me to help others as they face change and difficulties. We all have the power and capacity to take charge of our lives and to challenge ourselves to overcome judgement and pain.

My friend, you know who you are...turn your face towards the sun and be proud.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Happy New Year

I can't believe how time is passing us to quickly. It has been a month since I last posted.

Christmas was special as Kim hosted the dinner at her apartment. The table was set beautifully and the tree and decorations gave such a splendor to the occasion. Kim in her own special ways remembered Kelly-Anne by pinning up Kell's old Christmas stocking. I loved seeing it on displayed and felt again that Kell was nearby watching over us.

Kim cooked a wonderful meal. As I write this, I am chuckling to myself about the girls and their cooking expertise. I always felt that if one of the girls was to be the more inclined that the other to cook it would be Kell. I have already recounted to you stories of Kelly-Anne's cooking experiences, but I must say Kim really impressed me. Her chestnut stuffing was incredible! As you also know, Kim is a wonderful pie dough maker. Even with her busy schedule she found the time to make my meat pie crust.

Having not to cook for Christmas allowed me to reflect more on Christmases past. Now as the years go by, Kim is stating to take over the reigns. She did remark that the next time she cooks Christmas dinner, she better have a husband and a dishwasher. I neglected to ask her if the dishwasher would be the husband.

Jules and I did our regular thing for New Year's Eve... dinner at our favorite Italian resto , then a bottle of sparking wine while we and probably many others watched the ball drop in New York.

It seem that the hardest part was to stay await between 11:30 p.m. and 12:00.

My New Year's resolutions have been put in place...and I don't intend to break them. The list is short but straightforward : diet, exercise, lend an ear to a friend, and be happy.

Enjoy your year!