Thursday, March 19, 2009

Living in Fear

The past two weeks I have read a book written by Canadian journalist Brian Vallée. It is called the War on Women. The book talks about a couple domestic abuse cases in Canada which happened in the 1940-1950's. I read it as part of the research for a special project I am doing for Women Aware. The book allowed me to better understand what a victim of domestic abuse lives. The one word that best describes these victims is FEAR. That is why it is so hard for them to leave their abuse relationships. We have to stop judging women who stay in these relationships. It's so easy to say "Why is she with him. If it were me, I would be out in a flash."

The first night reading the book, I just couldn't sleep. Thoughts in my head were that of Kelly-Anne and what she lived in her relationship with Marty. So many other women even today continue to live in fear. I only hope and pray that the more we speak out, more women will break the silence. Being with Women Aware is challenging, but this is where I have been brought to.

I would like to be congratulated for being laid off as a door closed and another opened. I am in the right place with incredible colleagues. I understand now all those dreams that I have been having since Kelly-Anne's death. There is always a door opening in my dreams. Now I have the answers.

I will celebrate my challenge and continue to forge forward...never to be silent about abuse.

Kelly-Anne's Fundraiser

Last Saturday we enjoyed songs, laughter and a couple of beers at McKibbon's in Pointe Claire. Kelly-Anne was honored as the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club raised $ 2, 071.00 in her honor. Way to go Barbs! The money raised will help the up and coming rugby players with training and equipment. Special thanks to the organizers for doing a great job.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Already One Month

Here we are March 4th 2009. Exactly one month today I received the earth shattering news that I was canned from my job. This past month has been a world wind of ups and downs, tears and laughter. I have had the privilege of hooking up with old friends, acquaintances and former business associates.

I have also learnt some rules of life that have changed me. I have learnt to take time for myself. Hey, I've worked hard this past month. Looking for a job is a job in itself. I have also been able to take a step back and take care of me. I have gone to the gym, I have swam and I have slept in...something that have not done in years. I look in the mirror and now see a rested face...the puffiness around the eyes has disappeared. I realize that my knees no longer was those steel cap shoes and cement floors all that time killing my knees. I have also slowed down. I was always in a rush before to get done what needed to be I say to myself that I have all the time in the I take my time and am no longer stressed out.

I have realized that I have the strength and courage to carry on and to adapt to new situations. My confidence had been diminished on February 4th by the company who made a decision regarding my life and that of 999 other employees across Canada. Today, I regained that strength and confidence as I will embark on a exciting project for the next few months.

I will join WomenAware. I have written earlier on about this great association helping women who are victims of domestic violence. They have been around for 15 years and are going into schools talking about violence. They have a hot line for women who need to talk and need help and resources. There are support meetings and there is always a need for funding. There web site :

This summer I will kick back and relax. I haven't done that in years! It's going to be one day at a time. Finding a permanent full time job is not going to be easy, therefore I have to be creative and be my own boss.

I know that Kelly - Anne is helping me regain my spirit. I feel her near me in the water and there I am at peace. I know that she wants me out there helping women and now I can help WomenAware with their projects.

I'll just put away those steel cap shoes or maybe I'll sell them on EBay!