Thursday, October 30, 2008

Trains down Memory Lane

This morning I ventured downtown on the commuter train. It has been years since I rode the train to the city. Yesterday, my hubby took my hand across the street to the train station...yes we see and here the trains from our front door. He showed me how to purchase a ticket and where to get on...Jules is so full of detail. He says that I am not good with machines and he is right.

I arrived 10 minutes before the train was scheduled to arrive and purchased my ticket. I stood on the platform and there I had a flash of the past. As I saw in the distance the headlights of the train approaching, I remembered when Kelly-Anne was in film class at Concordia. She did a documentary on the trains of Montreal. It was a one man show and a very good piece. I remember she filming the commuter train at Montreal West station. I don't know what became of that film...oh how I would love to have a copy of it.

I boarded the train and of course there wasn't a seat to be had. I held my ticket in my hand assuming that a porter would come by and take it from least that is what I remember from way back when... a gentleman in a black suit and tie with a cap on his head who politely would ask for your ticket. To my surprise, there wasn't an employee to be had on the train. Later in the day coming home from the city, there were "want to be police" manning the trains. The employees looked like cops dressed in bullet proof vests, a waist band full of gadgets and in big bold letters written on the back of their jackets INSPECTEUR. Oh boy, have things changed or have I been living in a bubble all these years. Our society has evolved to the point where such a thing as gentlemen employees have now turn into bossy thugs. It has come to this point now on public transportation that the commuters have to be protected and controlled. I haven't heard of any crimes on these trains...but then again, things do slip through the cracks unheard of.

My goal today was to help out my dear friend at her church Christmas Sale. Remember those Christmas Balls ? Well, they sold out in no time flat. I even have orders to fill. A special friend came by and made a purchase and at the same time took the above picture of me. She says I'm photogenic....I say I don't think so...oh,, how I have aged in the past four years.

The day at the sale also brought back memories of the olden days, where people had time to knit, to sew and to get involved in church activities. Organizing a bazaar is a big undertaking. Only committed people can pull it off. Today I saw that at the church. People working together with one common goal.

Despite the changes of the life of the commuter train, I guess I have to evolve and go with the flow. The train is great and I hope to have this experience again. It was so nice not to have to have driven in traffic, looked for parking and to have to run out every couple of hours to put coins in a meter.

A suburbanite I will always be!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

No Greater Bond

Today, I went to the same funeral salon where Kelly-Anne had been laid out. A distant relative had passed on. I walked into the chapel and their laid the deceased in the same spot where Kelly-Anne had laid. I thought to myself , I must get through this without falling apart. I went to Kelly-Anne's grave prior to entering the salon. I asked her to give me strength and of course she did.

As I stood giving my condolences to the decease's daughter, I remarked to her that there is no greater bond than a mother and a daughter and her relationship with her mother was a true example of that. She looked at me and said that she had never though of it that way....but later as I pondered on my own words, I realize that there is so much truth to those words. Mothers are the ones that carry and nurse the babies. Daughters try to imitate their mothers...I remember dress up days when the girls were little, I remember the girls wanting to try makeup for the first time and of course their first childhood loves.

The grieving daughter best friend was her mother. All she has left are the fond memories and the reminder of the love and friendship which they shared. That bond forever stays even in death...I know, I still feel my bond with Kelly-Anne. She is forever present.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Christmas Sale at St. George's Place du Canada

Here is an invitation to come by the annual Christmas Sale at St. George's Anglican Church. I have been invited to spend the day with my very good friend Anne. I will be donating Christmas Balls...remember I spoke about them a couple of months ago. I have created some nice pieces which I will be selling in Kelly-Anne's memory. All proceeds from the sale of the balls will be donated to the church project of helping the homeless. It would be great if you can attend the sale. There will also be lots of other interesting items for Christmas giving available.


Time for the Guild of St. George’s Annual Christmas Sale.

Mark Thursday, October 30th on your calendar.

Time: 11 am. until 2 pm.
Place: St George’s church hall.
Address: Stanley and Lagauchetiere streets, opposite Windsor Station.

There is something for everyone, so come and do your Christmas shopping. We have a wonderful selection of preserves, baked and frozen goods, not to mention our famous Christmas puddings. There are tables loaded with gifts, jewellery, books, handicrafts, paintings and photographs, treasures and a fashion boutique. The downstairs Boutique St. George will also be open during the sale. A delicious lunch will be available for the modest price of $7.

Proceeds of this sale go towards supporting the ministry at St George’s as well as several Montreal missions to the homeless and disadvantaged.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


Prior to 2004, the month of October was always a festive time of the year. I looked forward to it even more than Christmas. Even though my Dad had passed away in 1992 on Thanksgiving weekend, our family made it a point to continue our tradition of family, turkey, pumpkin pie and togetherness. Dad enjoyed Thanksgiving as equally well as Kelly-Anne did. They both enjoyed the aroma of the turkey roasting in the oven and the tradition of all the family sitting at the table together to enjoy the feast. We looked forward to the celebration of birthdays, mine and Kim also in October. I loved taking walks and crunching leaves under my feet as we breathed the fresh autumn air. The girls looked forward to Halloween....decorating the house, trick or treating and overdosing on candy.

Ironically, Kelly-Anne was buried on Thanksgiving Monday. October no longer has the same meaning. It's different. Nothing is the same. The leaves symbolize the changing of the seasons...that winter is around the corner. My birthday doesn't mean much more now than another year older. Preparing Thanksgiving turkey is another chore which this year I choose not to partake in.

Jules and I will head up to Morrisburg , Ontario tomorrow and have turkey dinner at Upper Canada Village. Right now I need to escape my world and go back to a time where life was basic and people were happy and not so demanding of themselves or others.

As for what I am thankful for this weekend , well that really is important to me. I am thankful to have a precious daughter Kim, a wonderful and loving husband Jules, a home over my head, my health and capability to earn a living, true blue friends, my dear four -footed friends and mostly thankful that God gave me a precious Kelly-Anne for 24 years.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Laugh and Love

I have been pondering the last few days as to how I would pay tribute to Kelly-Anne on the 4th anniversary of her death. I don't have to tell you that I am still in pain, still cry, still suffer from post trauma, still miss her, still am so angry at her killer. Some may say to get over it, you need to let Kelly- Anne rest in peace or you will feel better if you forgive him....ya right.

Today as we remember Kelly-Anne I want to bring to light someone who have been there for Kelly-Anne even in her death. Rachel has been a faithful friend who has not forgotten Kell....... Even in her death, Rachel has managed on her own to keep Kelly-Anne's memory alive. Knowing Rachel as I do, I knew this morning she would of prepared something special on her blog. Please take a moment to look at look. My morning started in a bath a tears.

As for myself, I will face the day with grace. We will go to the cemetery and lay flowers. The energy that my daughter still gives me today is so strong. The words said to me four years ago outside of Kelly-Anne 's hospital room by her doctor " Your life will forever change" still ring in my ears. I continue to forge forward on my journey to fight violence, help families, convince the governments to change laws and to be a messenger to the youth.

As your thoughts are with Kelly-Anne and her family today, remember to live each day to the fullest, laugh and love as Kelly-Anne did in her short but full life.