Friday, October 22, 2010

Cocktail Fundraiser in honor of Kelly-Anne

The Societé de Sauvetage du Québec and the Family of

Kelly-Anne Drummond

cordially invite you to attend the Cocktail Fundraiser in

Memory of Kelly-Anne


Sunday, November 28th 2010


6:00 p.m.

The Dollard Des Ormeaux Aquatic Center

12001, De La Salaberry

Dollard des Ormeaux

Donation : $50.00 per person

Come and enjoy this annual event as we remember Kelly-Anne on what would have been her 31st birthday. We celebrate her love of life, her accomplishments as a competitive lifeguard and her example of sportsmanship, where she has continued to inspire our lifeguards.

“ Competitive Life guarding is the only sport that saves lives.”

To reserve your tickets, please call 514-252-3100

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Victim's ex-lover arrested in fatal Montreal North stabbing

Here is a story in today's Montreal Gazette. Another young mother of three has been fatally stabbed by her ex husband. A restraining order was put in place, but of course the order was not respected. It is time now that our police forces and government agencies understand that restraining orders do not protect a women's life nor the lifes of children. They are always at risk when even with a retraining order. It is another family tragedy where three young children no longer have their mother.

Victim's ex-lover arrested in fatal Montreal North stabbing

Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Poem

Here is a poem which Rachel sent to me. I was so happy this past week to have a visit from her. Rachel's bubbly smile and personality always makes me feel good. She thought of me today when she found this poem. It really fits how I feel.

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~

Monday, October 4, 2010

October 5th 2004 - Footprints in the Sand and Saying Goodbye

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved

I received this poem yesterday from my dear neighbour.I had always loved and believed in this poem and thought it fitting to share it with you.

Today, six years ago we said good bye to Kelly-Anne. The biggest decision in our lives was to have the life support system which kept Kell's heart beating turned off. A very special ethic's nurse said to me as we stood over Kelly-Anne's lifeless body that what we saw in front of us was just a shell and that her soul had already gone to Heaven. Her words helped us decide to have the machine turned off. My best friend,a priest gave prayers of the last rite and communion. We hugged and kissed Kelly-Anne. It was 3:30 p.m. The sound of the life support machine is still embedded in my mind.

The weather today in Montreal is identical to the weather six years ago. A lightly cool breeze with the sun shining. That is how I remember October 5th 2004. I also remember how Kelly-Anne's face was perfect, warm and flawless. Up until the machines were turned off, we asked for miracles.

The time has passed very quickly and many things have happened. For me,the past six years has been a learning curve in so many ways.I know full well that Kelly-Anne is always nearby. She is there when the big decisions have to be made. She is there for the special holidays. She is there to help carry me through the sadness....oh I can just hear her soft sympathetic voice saying "Oh,Mommy". I still remember running my fingers through her soft ringlets as she would sometimes lay next to me on the bed.

The candle will be lit today at 3:30 p.m. I hope to see another star tonight hovering over my head. I will call out her name and she will respond with a quick twinkle and a smile.

October 4th 2004 - Love and Support Continues On

I was up early this morning as I went into the city to help out a good friend at her church with the preparation of the Christmas Puddings for their bazaar. It was good to be out of the house for a while and to feel that I was needed for something.
Riding the train to and fro was fun as I really miss the train.On my way home my thoughts reflected about Kelly-Anne. I sat where the sun was able to beam down on me. The warmth on my face felt good and I felt at peace. Kelly-Anne is safe, I said to myself and she is nearby.Last night a lonely star shone above me as I sat on the balcony....a Kelly-Anne star I will call it.

Today on Facebook,I am so touched and overwhelmed by many of Kell's close friends who changed their facebook picture to include one of them with Kell. What a tribute with so much love. It's this type of kindness that helps me get through the day...the little things, the thoughtfulness of others. Yesterday, my cousin and I went to the mall. I really liked a particular sweater and she bought it for me...just to make me happy and feel that she could do something for me. She gave me beautiful pink roses as she said she just wanted to brighten my day.

This evening, the candle is lit next to the flowers and Kell's picture. Painful thoughts of six years ago on this day still haunt me. The crowds of Kelly-Anne's family and friends overtaking the trauma unit remind me of how all were so stunned and shocked about what had happened to Kell. But they were all there to see Kell and offer prayers and love. For that I will always remember and be grateful of the support which we had and that even six years later the support and love is still here. How blessed is Kelly-Anne's family!

I was asked by a friend if I am pissed off over the lost of beautiful Kelly-Anne. I have responded by saying yes,of course I am pissed off, but I cannot allow my anger to destroy me. Only a parent or a sibling who has gone through what our family has will understand homicide. We walk under a black cloud 24/7. We are different than everyone else....a sect of our own. How many times and even today, a stranger says to me "oh your Doreen Drummond....I know all about you" Strangers know me because they know of Kelly-Anne's story...they don't know me anything more but as the Mother.

I slept well last night and I pray that I do so tonight. The emotions are scrambling right now. There are a couple of people I need to speak to. I need to tell them that I love them. One is someone who Kell and our family loved and still loves and the other is someone who came into my our lives after Kell died. Both uniquely different people who have hearts filled with gold and compassion.

I need to find a 30" x 31" black picture frame with a glass. Does anyone know where I can get one? I have to complete a special project to honor Kelly-Anne, but am having trouble finding one. My projects keep me busy and give me a smile as I know how much Kell loved her projects. Once I find my frame, I will post the tribute.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

October 3rd 2004: The Day that Changed Our Lives Forever

I remember October 3rd as being much like today. It was cool and the sun shone. I picked up Kim to go to Fairview as she asked me to go with her to look for shoes for a wedding she was to attend. I asked Kim if we should call Kell to join us. She said no because as I quote her: " Kelly-Anne and Marty were having a Kelly-Anne and Marty day ". I thought ok, that's nice. Off we went to Fairview.I remember bumping into my dental hygienist....I always seem to bump into someone I know when shopping at Fairview.

It was just an ordinary Sunday. I cooked supper and prepared for the week ahead. I remember that evening sitting in my pj's in front of the t.v. watch On Assignment. The topic was the "Coroner's Office." How creepy is that.I then went to bed and fell into a deep sleep. The phone rang around 11:00 p.m. I didn't answer it at first as I though it was part of my dream. Once I woke, I laid in bed and then phone rang again and I answered it. From that moment on, my life had changed and now I was in a tailspin of emotions. Through a series of events I soon found myself at the hospital and thinking that I was still asleep in my dream.

I remember at one point being given the telephone. There was a male voice at the other end. I remember the voice sounding kind. I don't remember why I was speaking to him, but I remember him wishing me luck. He was a police detective, a man unknown to me and now had come into our lives. He would be the man that would eventually fight for justice for Kelly-Anne,her family, friends and the community.To this day, he remains very special to me and I hold him close in my heart. The hours went by as we sat by Kelly-Anne who was so lifeless. We were in total disbelief. Somehow the disbelief still remains with me.

This weekend so far we hear of multiple murders, much like the weekend six years ago. What is it about the first weekend in October that gives the right to people to kill each other.

The cemetery was wet and cold today. The aura of silence filled the plots as cars slowly drove through to pay respects to their loved ones. We noticed that the flat stone monuments needed fixing. The land has sunken and is starting to destroy the usual pristine look of the cemetery. We added our bouquet of flowers to the flowers that her father had placed. They all looked beautiful together as the colors blended in so well.No matter how long the time passes there is always such a profound sadness when we are standing over her grave. Kelly-Anne should not be there. Each time I am there I keep looking at the name inscribed on the plaque, hoping that there has been some terrible mistake and that I am visiting someone with the same name who has died after living a very long and fulfilling life. But reality sets in when I see the dates and know that it really is Kelly-Anne buried there.

A candle was lit at supper hour and remains next to Kell's grad picture. Tonight I choose to honor Kelly-Anne with one of her favorite meals. Roast beef encrusted with black pepper and oregano with assorted vegetables.

The sun has now set and the night lies ahead. I am so tired that I hope I will sleep well. Rachel has called me. I was so happy to hear her voice. She writes on her blog that she ask that we" pray for the repose of Kelly-Anne's soul and for strength,peace, and grace for all those who loved her".. I seconded her request.

" May her memory be eternal."

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Day 8

Our usual Saturday morning routine started early this morning with a trip to the grocery store. I keep on telling my husband that we spend too much money on groceries.I say we eat for four people. That comment only makes him laugh. He decided that he would cut out the purchase of soft drinks, like that is going to make a big difference at the cash! We bought some nice flowers for our visit tomorrow to the graveside. Lots of purples and pinks tones.

The oddest thing happened today. I was outside on the balcony and there was this one autumn leaf hovering in the air dancing all alone in front of me. I must of stared at it for a good ten minutes and wondered how could this leaf be twirling in the air without falling to the ground. I looked to see if there was anything attached to it, but there wasn't. How interesting as many of the leaves have now changed color and fallen to the ground. This particular one was just happy to be dancing alone in mid air. I finally went to the leaf and stood beside it as it continued to dance. I was looking closer to see if there was something attached that I may of not noticed from the balcony but there wasn't. After standing there for a couple of minutes,I finally grabbed it and placed it on the ground. I asked myself if this a sign from Kelly-Anne telling me to dance and be happy?

This evening,six years ago was the last time that I had a conversation with Kelly-Anne. She was at her father's home and called me to chat briefly about her trip.She told me about the portraits which she purchased in Italy that she was giving me. She also said that she bought me a pair of underwear from a marketplace. We laughed over that purchase. She was so happy. I didn't know that that would be the last time we would speak. I asked her how Marty was and she said something to the effect as I can't remember her exact words: "Mom, I need to be more respectful towards him".I remember biting my tongue and not responding to her,but my thoughts were you don't need to be more respectful, you were brought up to be respectful to people. I simply ended the conversation by saying that I had to go to bed and we said goodnight to each other.I didn't realize that that that was a sign of an abused women. I am grateful that we didn't argue and that we had a pleasant conversation despite her comment about how she should treat Marty.

This evening I spent in good company with old work friends at a retirement party for a friend who I have know for many many years. The party allowed me to escape my dreaded thoughts for a few hours and laugh a little. The next few days will be tough but I feel something surprisingly is going to happen. I feel this aura of new energy around me. Kelly-Anne has something up her sleeve...I just know it.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Day 7

Here is a picture which I promised that I would post. These are a sample of the greeting cards which Kelly-Anne would create. It came to my attention only today when I browsed through them that Kell had written notes in certain samples that she had been experimenting with. They were notes to herself on how she could make improvements using different types of glue, ribbons and fabric. Typical Kelly-Anne always trying to find better ways of doing things! I also found apiece of paper where she had broken down the costs of making the cards. You can see the Ladybug cards in red. She had them costing her $0.03 each to produce.I wonder what she intended on selling them for. It was all about detail and originality that made her cards special.

Today, I watched the installation of the new Governor General of Canada. I though of Kelly-Anne while I watched as I somehow know that she would of enjoyed watching this ceremony. She would of been most impressed with them man from Newfoundland who sang a special song to the new GG. Kell loved Celtic east coast music the likes of Ashey MacIssac and others. For those that do not know this, Kell was conceived in Carbonear, NLFD so I guess that may be a reason why she loved east coast music.

Today,I feel out of sorts. I really could use some sunshine! I continue to apply for jobs as I want to keep all my options opened. Still no news from my telephone interview a couple of days ago. I know the right thing will happen for me at the right time.