I was up early this morning as I went into the city to help out a good friend at her church with the preparation of the Christmas Puddings for their bazaar. It was good to be out of the house for a while and to feel that I was needed for something.
Riding the train to and fro was fun as I really miss the train.On my way home my thoughts reflected about Kelly-Anne. I sat where the sun was able to beam down on me. The warmth on my face felt good and I felt at peace. Kelly-Anne is safe, I said to myself and she is nearby.Last night a lonely star shone above me as I sat on the balcony....a Kelly-Anne star I will call it.
Today on Facebook,I am so touched and overwhelmed by many of Kell's close friends who changed their facebook picture to include one of them with Kell. What a tribute with so much love. It's this type of kindness that helps me get through the day...the little things, the thoughtfulness of others. Yesterday, my cousin and I went to the mall. I really liked a particular sweater and she bought it for me...just to make me happy and feel that she could do something for me. She gave me beautiful pink roses as she said she just wanted to brighten my day.
This evening, the candle is lit next to the flowers and Kell's picture. Painful thoughts of six years ago on this day still haunt me. The crowds of Kelly-Anne's family and friends overtaking the trauma unit remind me of how all were so stunned and shocked about what had happened to Kell. But they were all there to see Kell and offer prayers and love. For that I will always remember and be grateful of the support which we had and that even six years later the support and love is still here. How blessed is Kelly-Anne's family!
I was asked by a friend if I am pissed off over the lost of beautiful Kelly-Anne. I have responded by saying yes,of course I am pissed off, but I cannot allow my anger to destroy me. Only a parent or a sibling who has gone through what our family has will understand homicide. We walk under a black cloud 24/7. We are different than everyone else....a sect of our own. How many times and even today, a stranger says to me "oh your Doreen Drummond....I know all about you" Strangers know me because they know of Kelly-Anne's story...they don't know me anything more but as the Mother.
I slept well last night and I pray that I do so tonight. The emotions are scrambling right now. There are a couple of people I need to speak to. I need to tell them that I love them. One is someone who Kell and our family loved and still loves and the other is someone who came into my our lives after Kell died. Both uniquely different people who have hearts filled with gold and compassion.
I need to find a 30" x 31" black picture frame with a glass. Does anyone know where I can get one? I have to complete a special project to honor Kelly-Anne, but am having trouble finding one. My projects keep me busy and give me a smile as I know how much Kell loved her projects. Once I find my frame, I will post the tribute.
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