Monday, October 4, 2010

October 5th 2004 - Footprints in the Sand and Saying Goodbye

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved

I received this poem yesterday from my dear neighbour.I had always loved and believed in this poem and thought it fitting to share it with you.

Today, six years ago we said good bye to Kelly-Anne. The biggest decision in our lives was to have the life support system which kept Kell's heart beating turned off. A very special ethic's nurse said to me as we stood over Kelly-Anne's lifeless body that what we saw in front of us was just a shell and that her soul had already gone to Heaven. Her words helped us decide to have the machine turned off. My best friend,a priest gave prayers of the last rite and communion. We hugged and kissed Kelly-Anne. It was 3:30 p.m. The sound of the life support machine is still embedded in my mind.

The weather today in Montreal is identical to the weather six years ago. A lightly cool breeze with the sun shining. That is how I remember October 5th 2004. I also remember how Kelly-Anne's face was perfect, warm and flawless. Up until the machines were turned off, we asked for miracles.

The time has passed very quickly and many things have happened. For me,the past six years has been a learning curve in so many ways.I know full well that Kelly-Anne is always nearby. She is there when the big decisions have to be made. She is there for the special holidays. She is there to help carry me through the sadness....oh I can just hear her soft sympathetic voice saying "Oh,Mommy". I still remember running my fingers through her soft ringlets as she would sometimes lay next to me on the bed.

The candle will be lit today at 3:30 p.m. I hope to see another star tonight hovering over my head. I will call out her name and she will respond with a quick twinkle and a smile.

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