Monday, July 25, 2011

Words of Wisdom

I was invited recently to go swimming with a dear friend. She took me to a 50 metre pool which I really enjoyed. It was the first time that I did laps in such a large pool. Needless to say after one hour of laps I was tired, but happy. Afterwards we went to visit her father and brother. Her dad which I will call Mr. G is 90 years young. He is spry,intelligent and offered me great words of wisdom. We talked about different things and of course we spoke of Kelly-Anne and his grandson who was a great friend of Kelly-Anne. Mr. G said to me that when we face difficult situations we have to ask ourselves the question " Where do we go from here?"

Sitting with him for a half hour allowed me to be inspired,to reflect and to listen to his advice.I truly believe that people who live into their 90's and 100's are here for a reason. I believe that they are still needed on this earth to finish a job which is to teach others about life.

Each family has its' own struggles where life can bring a few big bumps in the road. No one ever told us that life would be perfect. For Mr. G he has suffered the loss of his wife and son in law and countless other relatives, but he still forges forward. He has a son who lives with him that lost both legs to cancer (and is an inspiration in his own right), he takes care of his home, he volunteers in his community and he offers wise advice to many.

With his positive outlook and his kind and compassionate character, he sat across from me and listened as I spoke. Without any interruption, he gently continued to encourage me to forge forward.

Where do we go from here...words that are now embedded in me forever, words to live by.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Prairie Girl


It was June 27, 2011. I was cooking up a storm. It was going to be the last supper as a family for a while. I wanted everything to be perfect. I cooked her favorite things. Seafood chowder, BBQ ribs, beet and cucumber salad,lamb kabobs and frozen yogurt in waffles cups surrounded with fresh raspberries. So much preparation for a meal that we would nosh on in a matter of an hour or so. She sat across the table from me. I looked at her and saw that something was changing. I didn't quite know then what it was, but change was about to happen. A new page of the book was to turn shortly. For me and for her. For me, today I can say it is about adjusting, for her was the new adventure that lay ahead. An adventure which has brought her new friends, new surroundings and love.

I asked Kelly-Anne to watch over her and to God to protect, guide and give her the wisdom to make the right decisions. I asked for myself the strength to accept change and that the future would be left in God's hands. Let go Doreen, you have no control,I reminded myself.

Once she arrived at her new destination she attended a wedding of one of her cousins. Needless to say, she looking beautiful for the occasion and met a young man. Love at first sight, well I would say yes. For the blissful couple they are taking is slowly while getting to know each other. Here we are three weeks later and she has met his parents,is attending his brother's wedding and are planning a camping trip together somewhere in the mountains. Maybe the prairie people do things a little differently than we Quebecers.

I am trying to breathe.So much has happened in the span of a couple of weeks. I said to my friends, she is not coming back, I just know it. She's off to start a new life, maybe it is time she no longer is looked upon as the" dead girl's sister". She needs her own identity. And I was right. The text message came saying that she would be home to introduce us to her new beau and pick up her winter things. My friends looked at me said that I hit the nail on the head with that one.

I teased her saying the the cats are going to give him the once over. I'll try to train them not to hiss,barf or stratch him. I also said that he would be meeting the Fockers. Jules re inactd the "I'm watching you" images of Robert DeNiro.

I am happy even thought she is moving for good. Actually I am excited for her. She will be surrounded with her cousins and her boyfriend and his wonderful family. New opportunities await her. For me, there is email, texting, skpe and airplanes.

I await with anticipation for her visit. She wants to learn how to cook some Lebanese dishes, he wants homemade bread. She wants to cook the stuffed vine leaves for his mother. When I read that from her text, I though back when I went to meet Jule's foster mother in Ontario. She too asked me to make her the stuffed grape leaves which I gladly did in her kitchen.

This week, she emailed and said that they had arrived at their destination for his brother's wedding. She was in awe of the beauty of the mountains and the glaciers. I teared up as I was so happy that she was experiencing the beauty of nature.

Kim's adventure continues........now that is what life is all about!


Friday, July 8, 2011

Kangaroo House

There was an interesting article in this past Thursday's Montreal Gazette about a safe house project being put in place here in Montreal. This home would be available to children of families in distress. I am mentioning this as a follow up to the continuing coverage of the Turcotte trial.

Sadly for many, Guy Turcotte was found not guilty of taking the lives of his two children. I did mention in my last entry that there has to be some sort of system available to families and children who are going through stressful times.

There is still not a location but people are working on the plan.Presently the organization is looking for non-profit status from the government. It will take six months before the project is in place with a team of care workers.

If you or anyone you know is going through a separation or divorce where children are involved, sending the children to temporary accommodations from parents who are in crisis is not a bad idea. It is not the solution but if it means that the children are protected while the parents get their own needed help, this house can hopefully protect children from the same fate as the Turcotte children.

The coordinates for The Kangaroo House are 514-524-4141 or visit thekangaroohouse.org

Another resource for parents is the Ligne Parents hotline at 1-800-361-5085

We all have to work together to prevent such sad and tragic events happening.Please pass on this information to anyone who might need it. Also supporting the project is something we can all do by contacting the organization to see what they might need in the way of furniture or financial contributions. Every little bit can help.

As for other parts of the North America and abroad, please contact you offices of social services in your area to see if such programs exist.

I do know that my blog reaches many countries. Thank you to all for taking the time to read My Daughter, Kelly-Anne.

Friday, July 1, 2011

In The Case of Guy Turcotte

Today is Canada's birthday and for many Canadians they are celebrating the presence of Will and Kate. For me, my mind is elsewhere. It has been a few days now that the jury has be sequestered to make their decision regarding the fate of Guy Turcotte the former cardiologist who took the lives of his two very young children back in 2009. I have followed parts of the trial via the media reports, but I must tell you I have also had to remove myself from some of the harsh descriptions of the actual murder. It is just to painful to listen to how the children were murdered from multiple stabs wounds.

We are told that Turcotte was depressed because his wife was leaving him. Reports tell us that he tried to commit suicide and drank antifreeze and then he viciously killed his children. His defense has tried to show that the murders were committed by mental illness and that he was a loving father.

My take on all this clear and simple. He may of been depressed about his breakup with his wife and he may of wanted to commit suicide. Being a doctor, he should of known better that drinking antifreeze would not be the best solution to end his life. He is a coward. If he really wanted to commit suicide that would of been his choice but for goodness sakes he could of left the children alone. I blame him alone for the crime, but I am bother by the fact that the children were left in his care. His ex wife was skiing for the weekend. He had been on the phone with this mother telling her that he was depressed. I feel at that point the police should of been called immediately to go to the house and remove the children.

In cases where a break up of a family has taken place, I feel that the courts and youth protection should be advised where children much too young to protect themselves are going to be in the care of a parent who many be having a hard time dealing with the break up. In this case the emotionally stronger parent was the mother as my understanding is that Turcotte had displayed difficulties adapting to the failure of his relationship.

Nothing will bring back these two little angels. The family will live under that black cloud forever. Even if the jury declares a first degree murder sentence, he will not be eligible for parole for 25 years. Twenty five years is just not enough for me. If this crime happened in the United States, Turcotte would be sentenced to die. In twenty-five years the little angels would of only been in their twenties. So unfair. The little ones did not have a voice nor anyone to protect them. Has society failed the children?

I can only hope and pray that the jury will not be swayed that the accused was mentally ill and didn't have a clue as to what he was going. That is such a cop out and I can only think that so many other cases including Kelly-Anne's murder that this poor excuse could of be insinuated by the defence.

I ask why is the jury still deliberating and my only response is that the judge has given them too many options of sentencing. These are Turcotte's peers,just regular citizens from different walks of life. They have the facts and have to make a decision based on these facts only and not on their own personal feelings. I feel that these twelve people may presently be having a problem to agree collectively on Turcotte's fate.

But what I do know is that the fate of his children was sealed by him and that should not be discounted.