Saturday, October 2, 2010

Day 8

Our usual Saturday morning routine started early this morning with a trip to the grocery store. I keep on telling my husband that we spend too much money on groceries.I say we eat for four people. That comment only makes him laugh. He decided that he would cut out the purchase of soft drinks, like that is going to make a big difference at the cash! We bought some nice flowers for our visit tomorrow to the graveside. Lots of purples and pinks tones.

The oddest thing happened today. I was outside on the balcony and there was this one autumn leaf hovering in the air dancing all alone in front of me. I must of stared at it for a good ten minutes and wondered how could this leaf be twirling in the air without falling to the ground. I looked to see if there was anything attached to it, but there wasn't. How interesting as many of the leaves have now changed color and fallen to the ground. This particular one was just happy to be dancing alone in mid air. I finally went to the leaf and stood beside it as it continued to dance. I was looking closer to see if there was something attached that I may of not noticed from the balcony but there wasn't. After standing there for a couple of minutes,I finally grabbed it and placed it on the ground. I asked myself if this a sign from Kelly-Anne telling me to dance and be happy?

This evening,six years ago was the last time that I had a conversation with Kelly-Anne. She was at her father's home and called me to chat briefly about her trip.She told me about the portraits which she purchased in Italy that she was giving me. She also said that she bought me a pair of underwear from a marketplace. We laughed over that purchase. She was so happy. I didn't know that that would be the last time we would speak. I asked her how Marty was and she said something to the effect as I can't remember her exact words: "Mom, I need to be more respectful towards him".I remember biting my tongue and not responding to her,but my thoughts were you don't need to be more respectful, you were brought up to be respectful to people. I simply ended the conversation by saying that I had to go to bed and we said goodnight to each other.I didn't realize that that that was a sign of an abused women. I am grateful that we didn't argue and that we had a pleasant conversation despite her comment about how she should treat Marty.

This evening I spent in good company with old work friends at a retirement party for a friend who I have know for many many years. The party allowed me to escape my dreaded thoughts for a few hours and laugh a little. The next few days will be tough but I feel something surprisingly is going to happen. I feel this aura of new energy around me. Kelly-Anne has something up her sleeve...I just know it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank-you Doreen for your postings about Kell on your blog. I have just finished a one hour & twenty minute phone call with Val Ayerst. We did alot of remembering of our beautiful daughter. As you know this year is the first year that everything coincides to the day. This is especially very hard for me. Adrienne and I layed flowers today at her graveside. There was alot of water covering many markers but none at Kell's. This was strange to see. I had expected to see water covering her marker but it was dry. Being such a swimmer Kell would have basked at the moment. As I write this I am listening to some music from The Trans Siberian Orchestra, who are known for Christmas Music. There is one song in particular that Kell liked, Christmas Canon. I can play this now or in December or July, I will always think of Kell.Not exactly East coast music, but she liked it.
This Saturday night brings back many memories to me. Kell was here telling us about her recent trip to Italy. We laughed until we were almost crying about her adventures. When I drove her back to her apartment, I did not know that I would not see her again. This will be with me for the rest of my life. But the moments that we had that night will be embedded in my memory forever.
Kell is gone in body, but her spirit and memory will be with us and many others for ever.