Another Awakening

It took the horrors of last week's terrorist attacks in Paris and Beruit for me to come to another step in my healing process. The wise words of a man who lost his wife in the attack at the Batalan hit me so unexpectedly today. His attitude was so spot on....I first  said to myself that this  man is still numb and once the reality of his loss hits, he will feel the hatred and anger. I then said to myself that I have no excuse. I have to separate myself from the hatred and anger I have felt for so long against Kelly-Anne's killer. I can no long entertain these feelings. I cannot allow myself to be a victim of his own hatred and anger.

I choose to to be happy and to live my life to the fullest. The next time he sees me he will know how happy I am. Whether he understands my happiness is not something I really care about. My happiness and my freedom are both important to me...something he will never have.

Last week I receive a phone call from Correctional Services Victim's Services informing me that he was transfered to a maximium security prison because the prison felt he was a security risk. It was only two months ago that he was transfered to a low/medium security prison. My first reaction was how he just can't get his act together and that he must of caused problems. Then I did the happy dance......my dance was my way of saying thanks. My work of keeping him behind bars for as long as possible gets easier.

Tomorrow is soon upon me here in Eastern Standard Time. I look forward to the day and what I will experience. I look foward to living....new things to learn, new people to meet.. even the slightest hello and warm gesture to a stranger in the shopping mall as we hear the sounds of Christmas music will make my day.

Enjoy yours too !