Thursday, June 6, 2013

On a Cloud

Getting back into the daily routine was very hard after spending time in Alberta visiting our  granddaughter. Ah, what a joy and a blessing is she. Saying goodbye at the airport was rough for all of us and even  harder when the plane took off into  mid air. I sat there crying as I knew there was no turning back....you know the movie scenario when the plane is  taxing  on the tarmac and all of a sudden  the plane stops, the  door opens and the beautiful  women steps out and runs down the stairs into the arms of the man she loves. Only in movies...oh I  had  wished that were the case. I just couldn't  get enough of  her cuddles, smiles and oous and ahs.

Everyday she seems to change. People tell me that she has my eyes. I say she now looks like her Dad, but I do see the resemblance  of myself in her eyes. Babies change so quickly.  Kim is constantly stimulating her with music, exercises and even reads to her. Elmo and Dog are her two buddies who hang with her in her stroller and on the floor.

The routine of motherhood has set in for Kim. She is enjoying every minute of her new responsibilities of  nurturing her baby. And what a mom she is! I couldn't be prouder.

Things have changed since I was a  young mother. I was not with Kim a day when she said to me "Mom, why are you questioning everything I do?" I responded  by saying that I am not questioning what she is doing, but questioning how so many things have changed. I wanted her to  know that  I wasn't questioning her personally as she was  doing things the way they are to  be done in 2013. I am still stuck in the 80's with baby and child stuff.

Returning to the hotel each night, I laid in bed thinking of the days events and about how much Kelly-Anne is missed at this time. I look at our granddaughter and see this precious life which gives me hope, strength and courage to continue to forge forward. She has  allowed me to renew my confidence within myself and somehow is telling me that a little  bit of Kelly-Anne lies within her.  Kelly-Anne's niece is telling me to be happy and let go of the pain. Through the tears, I can now smile.

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