Tuesday, October 2, 2012

That Last Conversation

That last conversation I will never forget was on October 2nd 2004. Kelly- Anne was at her father's house and she called to say hi as we had not had a chance to catch up since her return form Italy. She was happy. She had supper at her father's and Marty was not there. He had something else to do.

Kelly-Anne recounted to me a little about her trip and about the things she had bought for herself and me.Towards the end of the conversation I asked her how Marty was. Her answer was > Mom, I need to be more respectful to  him>. I have mentioned this statement in previous  posts. I was floored when I  heard her say these words. I bit my tongue and said I had to go to bed and would speak again soon. I didn't  not want to start an argument. Here I was walking on eggshells with my  daughter, knowing full well that she did not need to be more respectful to Marty, but what I didn't understand at that time was that her words were a true sign of domestic violence and control.

That was my last physical conversation with her.

For all the women out there who think that you need to be more respectful to your  partner, please wake up and understand that this  is what your partner expects you to do. You are being controlled in a way which is called abuse. This is a red flag sign letting you know that your are in  a potentially dangerous situation.You have been brainwashed,belittled and demoralized to believe that you are not respectful enough and that your partner's words are what controls you as a  person and your very distorted relationship. If you are reading this blog and you are not a women who is being abused, please refer my blog to women who you feel are being abused. Please educate yourself on domestic abuse, even if you are not in a relationship. Know the  signs and be vigilant  towards your family and friends who you feel could be victims of abuse.

I have too many regrets that I should of known better. I can now only be the voice of Kelly-Anne and and openly tell others not to allow yourself into this web of abuse. That is what Kelly-Anne would tell  you today if she were here to tell her story.

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