Saturday, August 30, 2014

Domestic Abuse 100 Years Ago

Today for some strange reason, I was thinking about my grandmother who came to Canada in the early 1900's. Here  she was in a foreign country starting out her life as a new Canadian. She married at an early age and had  her children. Her husband was a peddler and they traveled  from town to town  trying to make a living. My grandfather was an  alcoholic and died at an early age leaving my  grandmother to raise and provide for their children.

In my grandmother's later years of  life, she recount how she was subjected to the beatings of her husband. Eighty-five years later she was finally  letting out her anger which I realize now she had  bottled up all that time. Today we could say that she was a victim of domestic abuse, but back a hundred years ago, nobody used that term. What went on between four walls was private and many women like  my grandmother did not know any differently. It was part of being a wife where they cooked, cleaned, raised the children and was there to provide to all  the needs of the husband no matter how she was treated .I can only think that  my grandmother must of  felt very  alone.

The secrets, the embarrassment. I do not think it is any different today. Years ago an abused women lived in silence.Who would of  believed her? If she had told anyone, they would  of responded to her by saying that the husband was just having a bad day or you should help your husband more.Women then did not have the capacity to leave their husbands. There weren't any shelters for women and children. Women were married for life no matter how they were treated. It was  part of being a wife. They accepted it.

Fast track 100 years plus later, we are still afraid to speak out. We are still living in silence and accepting the abuse.  But things have changed. Today we have  the capacity and the resources to get out of an abusive relationship. We are aware, we talk about domestic abuse, we have shelters to  house  women and children. We have groups that support victims of domestic violence. But women are still living in fear.

As we approach the 10 th anniversary of the  horrific  murder that took Kelly-Anne's, I ask each and everyone of you who may be in an abusive relationship to please get help. He is not going to change nor will you change him. A man that beats his wife is not  a man who loves his wife no matter how her comes around  the following day and tells her he loves her and that it won't happen again. It is not love ! We deserve  to be loved and we are all capable of having a  loving relationship with someone who genuinely loves us for who we are. It is possible. I live it each day of my life  so I know it exists.

I would like to remind you that  dialing 911 from your home phone will bring the police directly to  your house. You don't even have to say a word. I also understand that  in the USA one can text 911 and receive help. I do not  know if it works in Canada but I will find out and post once I get a confirmation.

Meanwhile, please break the silence on  domestic abuse.

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