Day 4

I thought for this week I would try and remove myself from listening to the news or read it. But today, I broke down and since I am a news junkie, I ate my lunch in from of the t.v.

The headlines for today in the Gazette include the following: 1 in 4 Canadians are victims of crime, a 19 year old girl is murdered in a park in B.C., a 15 year old intoxicated girl reports that she was apparently sexually assaulted, a 39 year old chef commits suicide because of something that Chef Gordon Ramsay had said to him while on Hell`s Kitchen, a gunman kills himself at a Texas university campus,a body is found in a burning car and a wall of a building falls and kills a 54 year old man. I think this is enough for one day.

The words that come to mind for all these headlines are Trauma, Grief, Memories, Loss,Anger,Denial,and Pain. Words that I can so easily identify with. It is hard not to feel moved and hurt for these victims and their families as their lives will forever change.

Today, I took photos of the scrapbook which I made last year of Kelly-Anne`s trip to Italy. Making the scrapbook allowed me to come more to terms with the fact that she is no longer alive. I had the tendency to tell myself these past years that Kell was away on vacation or living back in San Diego. It`s all part of the disbelief that one goes through after a trauma, but the scrapbook helped me come to terms with my thoughts and feelings. I have posted some of the pictures. I am so happy that she had the opportunity to travel to Italy. My hopes and dreams are that I will too have the chance to travel to Italy and retrace the route that she took. My friend will come to visit me next week and promises to bring me movies that take place in Italy in the Tuscany region. Two weeks ago I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. The scenery of Italy was beautiful. There was a spot which they shot that I know Kelly-Anne stood there over looking the city of Florence. I had this lump in my throat as I watched this part of the movie and only said to myself how thankful I was that Kelly-Anne had that chance to experience such beauty.